Gunner was a really good dog and I miss him. He died earlier today from a gunshot wound. I'll always remember him waiting up for me to come home when I was out late. He'd wait by the door and then follow me to my room as if he was my escort. He'd even wait for me to tell him goodnight before going over to the top of the stairs on our landing and laying down to guard us girls while we slept. He was a fun dog. If you were ever bored you could just give him an empty soda bottle and he'd be entertained for days, therefore, so would you. Gunner was also (on occasion) cuddly. I would be sick or just laying on the couch and he would come and rest his head next to mine as if to say he was sorry I was sick but that he loved me. He was also a stubborn little bugger sometimes. Some mornings he wouldn't eat breakfast without a raw egg mixed in. He also liked to run off, which in the end is how he died. But he was a friendly dog who really loved people. (Believe it or not, some dogs do NOT fit that category.)
Rest in peace, Gunner. I love you.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Finishing Up
Tuesday (the 24th):
I work in the Records and Registration office at BYU. Therefore I work with transcripts. Sending them and all that jazz. Well, I cannot tell you how many transcripts we had to send! You'd think that people wouldn't wait until the day before Thanksgiving break to send a transcript to a Grad school due on the 1st of December! Anyway, the thing that I was extremely grateful for was (and still is) the magical thing I like to call a "licker". It's a pen that moistens the seal on an envelope. It was seriously a blessing. :)
Wednesday:
I worked this day but campus was a wasteland. NO ONE who didn't have to be here was! So work was basically all about playing games, putting up Christmas decor, drinking hot chocolate and chatting about our plans for Christmas. I was really grateful for the relaxation! At work of all places! lol.
Thursday:
Seriously, so many things to be grateful for! 1-Family-people who will always love me and always be there for me. 2-friends who I can just be my crazy self with and yes, they do still love me! 3-A place to sleep every night. A place that is warm and well kept. 4-A healthy body. Though I have very minor silly little things (like Lactose intolerance and heart-burn) I can walk, run, skip, jump, play football, play basketball, and so much more! I also don't have to see a doctor every other week or take 20 pills everyday. For those things I am so grateful. Thursday was a good day. I went up to Pocotello, where my grandma lives, with my sisters and Bradford (Julie's boyfriend). We were able to serve at a Soup Kitchen type thing that Kimberly's friend's family has been doing for 20 years (I'm pretty sure it was 20 years...). We decided to take a route and deliver hot and cold meals to people who needed them. It felt really good. I like serving. :)
Friday:
Sleep. And more family. And more friends. lol. My alarm clock around 10:00am on Friday was my Dad calling to see how my Thanksgiving was. I love my Dad. He's my hero and one of the very few people I look up to. It was nice being to talk with him for awhile and though I've known that I miss my Dad, talking with him so close to when I'll be going home for the break made me realize HOW much I miss him. After hanging up with him my Mom called. I kid you not, about 3 minutes had passed. It was also really nice talking to her too. And, as with my dad, I realized that I miss my mom more than I thought. Basically, I miss my family and I can't wait to be home for a bit.
Friday night was really fun too. Not to many people were back from break yet so I felt like the apartment...as well as all of Provo, was somewhat empty and I'd have to just watch a movie...by myself. Well. That was not the case. I found friends! YAY! lol. But really, I did. And they came over and we made and ate cookies and watched a movie and I didn't feel lonely. I really felt loved! It was amazing.
Saturday:
BYU beat it's rival U of U and I got to go ( I didn't think I'd be able to) and experience the whole thing first hand! THAT was exciting and so tiring! I don't think I've ever gotten so anxious about any game in my life! lol. I will say here and now that what Max Hall said was not appropriate BUT everyone is human. That game was a dirty game all around and anyone who tries to argue otherwise is in denial. Nothing anyone did to Max Hall's family justifies him saying what he said however it was said. People? It's a game. Seriously. The players are really the only ones who benefit (or not) from winning (...or not.) I think it's just plain silliness to stop talking to your neighbor because of something a football player said, didn't say, did or didn't do. Rivalries are supposed to be fun, light hearted things and the crazy, insane, and sometimes ridiculous FANS are the ones who make it just plain mean. Anyway, I'll step off my soap box now and continue on with blessings...
Sunday:
Naps and, drum roll please, FRIENDS!!! I know, I know, I already said that 3 times but it always amazes me how much someone can do for you and barely know you! I have a few new friends, just some girls from church that I didn't know well and now know better, and we spent almost all of Sunday baking. 3 batches of cookies, chocolate covered pretzels and rice crispy treats. We plated and delivered them to some people in our ward and I cannot tell you how much fun I had. Sharla and Jenny are AWESOME!
Monday (I know, Dec. 1st is not in November but I'm on a roll!):
I think I say this every Monday but I don't care, FHE!!! I love my little family! Everyone comes, everyone participates, everyone ( I think) likes being there! It's just really satisfying to feel like I'm doing my "job" well. Seriously every single one of them is unique to the other and yet we all get along. I love them, I love them, I love them!!!! I can't say it enough.
Aside from FHE I'm also very grateful for Home teachers who are willing to come assist me at 10:30 at night. 'nough said.
Now, for the thing that seriously made my night on Monday. My dear friend Angela who happens to be in my FHE family AND my visiting teaching companion sent me a text that said "Look outside your door." Sitting there on the welcome mat was a pint of Cookies and Cream ice cream with the sweetest card ever. I don't know how she knew, but I needed that. No, not the ice cream but the gesture. Literally, I saw the present and started crying. It had been one of those days and she made it so much better. She cared. For her inspiration, I'm very grateful.
Tuesday:
I went to Boondocks, a fun center place, with my friend Matt and I had an amazing time. It was nice to just go and play laser tag and a wild assortment of arcade games and eat pizza...it was like being a little kid again. A little kid with no cares in the world. It was a nice break from being "a grown up". :)
Today: (Phew, I made it!)
Glee. Glee is a funny little show that my roommates and I bond over. Honestly I think that's the only thing that we ALL like watching! It's really nice to just sit with each other and watch a show. My roomies are great!
I work in the Records and Registration office at BYU. Therefore I work with transcripts. Sending them and all that jazz. Well, I cannot tell you how many transcripts we had to send! You'd think that people wouldn't wait until the day before Thanksgiving break to send a transcript to a Grad school due on the 1st of December! Anyway, the thing that I was extremely grateful for was (and still is) the magical thing I like to call a "licker". It's a pen that moistens the seal on an envelope. It was seriously a blessing. :)
Wednesday:
I worked this day but campus was a wasteland. NO ONE who didn't have to be here was! So work was basically all about playing games, putting up Christmas decor, drinking hot chocolate and chatting about our plans for Christmas. I was really grateful for the relaxation! At work of all places! lol.
Thursday:
Seriously, so many things to be grateful for! 1-Family-people who will always love me and always be there for me. 2-friends who I can just be my crazy self with and yes, they do still love me! 3-A place to sleep every night. A place that is warm and well kept. 4-A healthy body. Though I have very minor silly little things (like Lactose intolerance and heart-burn) I can walk, run, skip, jump, play football, play basketball, and so much more! I also don't have to see a doctor every other week or take 20 pills everyday. For those things I am so grateful. Thursday was a good day. I went up to Pocotello, where my grandma lives, with my sisters and Bradford (Julie's boyfriend). We were able to serve at a Soup Kitchen type thing that Kimberly's friend's family has been doing for 20 years (I'm pretty sure it was 20 years...). We decided to take a route and deliver hot and cold meals to people who needed them. It felt really good. I like serving. :)
Friday:
Sleep. And more family. And more friends. lol. My alarm clock around 10:00am on Friday was my Dad calling to see how my Thanksgiving was. I love my Dad. He's my hero and one of the very few people I look up to. It was nice being to talk with him for awhile and though I've known that I miss my Dad, talking with him so close to when I'll be going home for the break made me realize HOW much I miss him. After hanging up with him my Mom called. I kid you not, about 3 minutes had passed. It was also really nice talking to her too. And, as with my dad, I realized that I miss my mom more than I thought. Basically, I miss my family and I can't wait to be home for a bit.
Friday night was really fun too. Not to many people were back from break yet so I felt like the apartment...as well as all of Provo, was somewhat empty and I'd have to just watch a movie...by myself. Well. That was not the case. I found friends! YAY! lol. But really, I did. And they came over and we made and ate cookies and watched a movie and I didn't feel lonely. I really felt loved! It was amazing.
Saturday:
BYU beat it's rival U of U and I got to go ( I didn't think I'd be able to) and experience the whole thing first hand! THAT was exciting and so tiring! I don't think I've ever gotten so anxious about any game in my life! lol. I will say here and now that what Max Hall said was not appropriate BUT everyone is human. That game was a dirty game all around and anyone who tries to argue otherwise is in denial. Nothing anyone did to Max Hall's family justifies him saying what he said however it was said. People? It's a game. Seriously. The players are really the only ones who benefit (or not) from winning (...or not.) I think it's just plain silliness to stop talking to your neighbor because of something a football player said, didn't say, did or didn't do. Rivalries are supposed to be fun, light hearted things and the crazy, insane, and sometimes ridiculous FANS are the ones who make it just plain mean. Anyway, I'll step off my soap box now and continue on with blessings...
Sunday:
Naps and, drum roll please, FRIENDS!!! I know, I know, I already said that 3 times but it always amazes me how much someone can do for you and barely know you! I have a few new friends, just some girls from church that I didn't know well and now know better, and we spent almost all of Sunday baking. 3 batches of cookies, chocolate covered pretzels and rice crispy treats. We plated and delivered them to some people in our ward and I cannot tell you how much fun I had. Sharla and Jenny are AWESOME!
Monday (I know, Dec. 1st is not in November but I'm on a roll!):
I think I say this every Monday but I don't care, FHE!!! I love my little family! Everyone comes, everyone participates, everyone ( I think) likes being there! It's just really satisfying to feel like I'm doing my "job" well. Seriously every single one of them is unique to the other and yet we all get along. I love them, I love them, I love them!!!! I can't say it enough.
Aside from FHE I'm also very grateful for Home teachers who are willing to come assist me at 10:30 at night. 'nough said.
Now, for the thing that seriously made my night on Monday. My dear friend Angela who happens to be in my FHE family AND my visiting teaching companion sent me a text that said "Look outside your door." Sitting there on the welcome mat was a pint of Cookies and Cream ice cream with the sweetest card ever. I don't know how she knew, but I needed that. No, not the ice cream but the gesture. Literally, I saw the present and started crying. It had been one of those days and she made it so much better. She cared. For her inspiration, I'm very grateful.
Tuesday:
I went to Boondocks, a fun center place, with my friend Matt and I had an amazing time. It was nice to just go and play laser tag and a wild assortment of arcade games and eat pizza...it was like being a little kid again. A little kid with no cares in the world. It was a nice break from being "a grown up". :)
Today: (Phew, I made it!)
Glee. Glee is a funny little show that my roommates and I bond over. Honestly I think that's the only thing that we ALL like watching! It's really nice to just sit with each other and watch a show. My roomies are great!
Monday, November 23, 2009
This Day Two Years Ago.
Friday:
So, sometimes when you have a crazy morning and you're mind is in a billion different places you can forget to eat. Or at least I did. I also don't carry my debit card with me (too much of a temptation) and forgot to pack a lunch. I made it to work and wanted to cry because I was so hungry. I called my roomie and she wasn't available. The other two I knew were busy as well. So I sat there, wondering what I could do. Then a thought came to me. "You have visiting teachers who are in place to help you. Call Anna." So I did. Not more than a half hour later I was being handed lasagna an apple turnover and pink lemonade. I was speechless. I'm pretty sure all I could say (over and over) was "thank you so much". I am so grateful for the organization of the church. It's more amazing than I can comprehend!
Saturday:
Ha, well. Let's just say that I'm glad for second chances. It's too embarrassing to go into details but I'm VERY grateful for second chances and starting over again. :) Anyway, I'm also grateful for new friends and "rebellious" actions. HA! Rebellious! Psh. We all came up to campus to watch a movie on a projector in one of the many many many rooms on campus and ended up getting kicked out an hour later. It was great. lol. :)
Sunday:
VISITING TEACHERS! NICE NOTES!!! and HOME TEACHERS! YAAAY! I love them all but mainly, I'm really really grateful for the friends that I have in my visiting teachers. Those girls, Anna and Jaime and amazing-fabulous-fantastic-wonderful...I could go on! They knew what I needed to hear and they taught it with such amazing love. I seriously can't thank the Lord enough for those girls. Not only are they my visiting teachers, they are wonderful friends and amazing examples to me. I love them very very much.
Today:
My senior year of high school,exactly two years ago, I lost a very good friend in a car accident. I'd had a lot of time to get to know her because we were in Choir together and I was helping her in our spare time to prepare for All-State Choir the next semester. We auditioned and both made it. Megan, myself and two other of our friends were planning on rooming together, needless to say we were all really excited.
She passed away the night of Nov. 23 2007. It was hard and knowing what she had planned for her life made it harder to realize she was gone. From that I was able to gain a much stronger testimony of the Plan of Salvation. I will be able to see Megan again and we'll be able to sing and laugh just like we did when she was here. I'm so grateful for that knowledge and I'm grateful that I was able to have Megan as a friend even though that time was short. She was an amazing young woman and though I miss her very much, I know she's in a much happier place now.
Live, Laugh, Love. That was her motto and she lived it to a T.
So, sometimes when you have a crazy morning and you're mind is in a billion different places you can forget to eat. Or at least I did. I also don't carry my debit card with me (too much of a temptation) and forgot to pack a lunch. I made it to work and wanted to cry because I was so hungry. I called my roomie and she wasn't available. The other two I knew were busy as well. So I sat there, wondering what I could do. Then a thought came to me. "You have visiting teachers who are in place to help you. Call Anna." So I did. Not more than a half hour later I was being handed lasagna an apple turnover and pink lemonade. I was speechless. I'm pretty sure all I could say (over and over) was "thank you so much". I am so grateful for the organization of the church. It's more amazing than I can comprehend!
Saturday:
Ha, well. Let's just say that I'm glad for second chances. It's too embarrassing to go into details but I'm VERY grateful for second chances and starting over again. :) Anyway, I'm also grateful for new friends and "rebellious" actions. HA! Rebellious! Psh. We all came up to campus to watch a movie on a projector in one of the many many many rooms on campus and ended up getting kicked out an hour later. It was great. lol. :)
Sunday:
VISITING TEACHERS! NICE NOTES!!! and HOME TEACHERS! YAAAY! I love them all but mainly, I'm really really grateful for the friends that I have in my visiting teachers. Those girls, Anna and Jaime and amazing-fabulous-fantastic-wonderful...I could go on! They knew what I needed to hear and they taught it with such amazing love. I seriously can't thank the Lord enough for those girls. Not only are they my visiting teachers, they are wonderful friends and amazing examples to me. I love them very very much.
Today:
My senior year of high school,exactly two years ago, I lost a very good friend in a car accident. I'd had a lot of time to get to know her because we were in Choir together and I was helping her in our spare time to prepare for All-State Choir the next semester. We auditioned and both made it. Megan, myself and two other of our friends were planning on rooming together, needless to say we were all really excited.
She passed away the night of Nov. 23 2007. It was hard and knowing what she had planned for her life made it harder to realize she was gone. From that I was able to gain a much stronger testimony of the Plan of Salvation. I will be able to see Megan again and we'll be able to sing and laugh just like we did when she was here. I'm so grateful for that knowledge and I'm grateful that I was able to have Megan as a friend even though that time was short. She was an amazing young woman and though I miss her very much, I know she's in a much happier place now.
Live, Laugh, Love. That was her motto and she lived it to a T.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Od's Fish M'Dear!
Saturday-
Was OOBER FUN! My ward held a Turkey Bowl and I scored the first touch down for my team!!! So not only I was grateful for an amazing ward, an amazing time and crazy weather (it started to snow the last few minutes of the game...) I was and still am grateful for the ability I have to walk, run, tackle and play.
Sunday-
Sunday started as a difficult day but by the end, I couldn't have asked for a better day. I'm very very grateful the comfort that comes from knowing that I have a loving Father in Heaven who wants me to return home to live with Him. I know that's true and I'm grateful for it.
Monday-
F.H.E. OH MY GOSH! I love it! My family is just about the most amazing family EVER! Everyone comes, everyone participates and gets involved in the lesson. This past Monday, mostly everyone stayed for an extra half hour just playing games and hanging out. It's amazing because our family isn't just a group of people getting together because we have to. We get together because we're friends and we enjoy FHE. I'm grateful that everyone makes the effort to care and to be there every week. :)
Tuesday-
I'm grateful for 8 hours of studying aside from class and homework time. I got a B on my Stats test! I'm sure for some people a B is not good but for me? In Stats? Yeah, that's pretty flippin' FANTASTIC! Tuesdays are also my days off...which I'm sure I've mentioned before but I'm grateful for the downtime I have to just..be. I don't have to run back and forth between classes and work and homework trying to squeeze in laundry and cleaning my room and the apartment and all that jazz. I can do it all at my own pace and THAT makes me happy! I'm also really grateful for Dinner group. We have it every Tuesday-Thursday. It's fabulous.
Wednesday-
Capture the Flag. It's way fun and I got to play for two hours with my ward! I'm extremely sore today but that's just what happens when you play hard! lol. It was a lot of fun and after we were done the organizer of the festivities had bought us doughnut holes (which were so stinkin' YUMMY) but we had left overs. SO, we went over and stood at the bottom of the stairs in the testing center. Anytime someone came down, after finishing a test, we cheered and offered them a doughnut hole. You should've seen some of those kids faces. It was priceless!
Now for Today-
The day isn't quite over yet but I'm really grateful for my Living Prophets class. That and prayer. The Lord definitely knows how to get your attention. Elder Holland is amazing and I know that he is an Apostle of a true and living Heavenly Father. Elder Holland really is just an amazing man. If you ever get the chance to study the lives of our living leaders DO IT! You won't regret it. Ever.
Was OOBER FUN! My ward held a Turkey Bowl and I scored the first touch down for my team!!! So not only I was grateful for an amazing ward, an amazing time and crazy weather (it started to snow the last few minutes of the game...) I was and still am grateful for the ability I have to walk, run, tackle and play.
Sunday-
Sunday started as a difficult day but by the end, I couldn't have asked for a better day. I'm very very grateful the comfort that comes from knowing that I have a loving Father in Heaven who wants me to return home to live with Him. I know that's true and I'm grateful for it.
Monday-
F.H.E. OH MY GOSH! I love it! My family is just about the most amazing family EVER! Everyone comes, everyone participates and gets involved in the lesson. This past Monday, mostly everyone stayed for an extra half hour just playing games and hanging out. It's amazing because our family isn't just a group of people getting together because we have to. We get together because we're friends and we enjoy FHE. I'm grateful that everyone makes the effort to care and to be there every week. :)
Tuesday-
I'm grateful for 8 hours of studying aside from class and homework time. I got a B on my Stats test! I'm sure for some people a B is not good but for me? In Stats? Yeah, that's pretty flippin' FANTASTIC! Tuesdays are also my days off...which I'm sure I've mentioned before but I'm grateful for the downtime I have to just..be. I don't have to run back and forth between classes and work and homework trying to squeeze in laundry and cleaning my room and the apartment and all that jazz. I can do it all at my own pace and THAT makes me happy! I'm also really grateful for Dinner group. We have it every Tuesday-Thursday. It's fabulous.
Wednesday-
Capture the Flag. It's way fun and I got to play for two hours with my ward! I'm extremely sore today but that's just what happens when you play hard! lol. It was a lot of fun and after we were done the organizer of the festivities had bought us doughnut holes (which were so stinkin' YUMMY) but we had left overs. SO, we went over and stood at the bottom of the stairs in the testing center. Anytime someone came down, after finishing a test, we cheered and offered them a doughnut hole. You should've seen some of those kids faces. It was priceless!
Now for Today-
The day isn't quite over yet but I'm really grateful for my Living Prophets class. That and prayer. The Lord definitely knows how to get your attention. Elder Holland is amazing and I know that he is an Apostle of a true and living Heavenly Father. Elder Holland really is just an amazing man. If you ever get the chance to study the lives of our living leaders DO IT! You won't regret it. Ever.
Friday, November 13, 2009
When We Lose One Blessing, Another Is Often Most Unexpectedly Given In Its Place-C.S Lewis
Thursday:
Well, it's kind of twisted but I'm grateful for failure. I failed the first test in my ENTIRE life last night and, oddly enough, I laughed. Not because I was happy and not because I didn't care but because, well, why cry? I studied, I took the practice test, I went to the in-class and out-of-class reviews and I did my best. In this case my best was a failure but I couldn't have done more. So why worry myself, and beat myself up? If you fail and give up, you've brought the biggest failure upon yourself. So I will not give up, though I may not "do well" in an academic sense, I will do my best and that's all I should ask of myself.
Today:
Work luncheons. Yum. Today we had a Turkey sandwich day. People brought sandwich makings, others brought salads and the rest brought pie! Although, I only ate 1/2 a piece of pie, I did enjoy my turkey sandwich. I don't like turkey most of the time but it was pretty tasty in between two pieces of bread, cheese, mayo and tomatoes. (Tomatoes are also on my 'take care when eating' list-heartburn...really really badly-but it was yummy!) Anyway, I'm grateful that we were all able to come together and enjoy lunch together. What's more is that I didn't have to prepare a lunch for myself last night or this morning! It was great. :)
Well, it's kind of twisted but I'm grateful for failure. I failed the first test in my ENTIRE life last night and, oddly enough, I laughed. Not because I was happy and not because I didn't care but because, well, why cry? I studied, I took the practice test, I went to the in-class and out-of-class reviews and I did my best. In this case my best was a failure but I couldn't have done more. So why worry myself, and beat myself up? If you fail and give up, you've brought the biggest failure upon yourself. So I will not give up, though I may not "do well" in an academic sense, I will do my best and that's all I should ask of myself.
Today:
Work luncheons. Yum. Today we had a Turkey sandwich day. People brought sandwich makings, others brought salads and the rest brought pie! Although, I only ate 1/2 a piece of pie, I did enjoy my turkey sandwich. I don't like turkey most of the time but it was pretty tasty in between two pieces of bread, cheese, mayo and tomatoes. (Tomatoes are also on my 'take care when eating' list-heartburn...really really badly-but it was yummy!) Anyway, I'm grateful that we were all able to come together and enjoy lunch together. What's more is that I didn't have to prepare a lunch for myself last night or this morning! It was great. :)
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Giving Thanks- Part 3!
Monday:
Well, that was kind of a hard day. Long day at work, symptoms of a cold decided to surface and...it was just a rough day. BUT FHE is a marvelous thing! I felt much better after having all of us there that night. We had a wonderful lesson about the temple and then played Mafia. A game that I don't really like to play but everyone was entertained so, that made me happy. On top of that, I had a much more personal experience. I won't go into details but I was so grateful for answered prayers. I needed something and I received it. The Lord is so good.
Tuesday:
My day off. Seriously, it was amazing. But what I'm really grateful for is my roommate, Jackie. I was going to sleep in on Tuesday since I haven't been feeling all that well. My only class on Tuesday is my Living Prophets class at 9:00 am. It's kind of hard to wake up early when you've stayed up late doing homework and talking with roommates. But Jackie helped me get out of bed and get going. Class was amazing! We talked about Elder Ballard, someone I haven't known much about, and it was PHENOMENAL! And to think that I would've slept in if Jackie hadn't been there...I'm just really grateful for her.
And now Today:
Blenders. I've had some strawberries and yogurt that I haven't used and I really needed to use them. I also wanted a yummy, healthy, and portable breakfast. So, I threw some ice, yogurt, strawberries and a banana into a blender and VOILA! A smoothie. SO GOOD! Had I not had a blender in the apartment, making a smoothie would've been pretty difficult. :) So far, I've had a fabulous day!
Well, that was kind of a hard day. Long day at work, symptoms of a cold decided to surface and...it was just a rough day. BUT FHE is a marvelous thing! I felt much better after having all of us there that night. We had a wonderful lesson about the temple and then played Mafia. A game that I don't really like to play but everyone was entertained so, that made me happy. On top of that, I had a much more personal experience. I won't go into details but I was so grateful for answered prayers. I needed something and I received it. The Lord is so good.
Tuesday:
My day off. Seriously, it was amazing. But what I'm really grateful for is my roommate, Jackie. I was going to sleep in on Tuesday since I haven't been feeling all that well. My only class on Tuesday is my Living Prophets class at 9:00 am. It's kind of hard to wake up early when you've stayed up late doing homework and talking with roommates. But Jackie helped me get out of bed and get going. Class was amazing! We talked about Elder Ballard, someone I haven't known much about, and it was PHENOMENAL! And to think that I would've slept in if Jackie hadn't been there...I'm just really grateful for her.
And now Today:
Blenders. I've had some strawberries and yogurt that I haven't used and I really needed to use them. I also wanted a yummy, healthy, and portable breakfast. So, I threw some ice, yogurt, strawberries and a banana into a blender and VOILA! A smoothie. SO GOOD! Had I not had a blender in the apartment, making a smoothie would've been pretty difficult. :) So far, I've had a fabulous day!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
I Am Thankful For...
Friday:
Music. Work DRAGS on sometimes but more often than not on Fridays. Music helped me get through those boring hours filled with next to nothing but stuffing transcripts in envelopes and faxing verifications. Something else, my friend and FHE "Husband" Andy, stopped by and visited with me at work. It was a simple gesture of friendship and made my day so much better.
Saturday:
Families. Eternal ones. The sacred ordinance of Temple Marriage was something I couldn't stop thinking about after witnessing a Civil Marriage of someone I love and wish all happiness too. I am grateful for good, strong and loving parents who taught me to build my own testimony and learn for myself what to believe, to know. I love my parents with all my heart and can't thank them enough.
Today:
This
The Lord really knows how to answer prayers.
Music. Work DRAGS on sometimes but more often than not on Fridays. Music helped me get through those boring hours filled with next to nothing but stuffing transcripts in envelopes and faxing verifications. Something else, my friend and FHE "Husband" Andy, stopped by and visited with me at work. It was a simple gesture of friendship and made my day so much better.
Saturday:
Families. Eternal ones. The sacred ordinance of Temple Marriage was something I couldn't stop thinking about after witnessing a Civil Marriage of someone I love and wish all happiness too. I am grateful for good, strong and loving parents who taught me to build my own testimony and learn for myself what to believe, to know. I love my parents with all my heart and can't thank them enough.
Today:
This
The Lord really knows how to answer prayers.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Blessing For Today
It's been a rough day. Honestly the last thing I want to do is give a happy little thankful thought but to be honest, as I think about my day, the BEST part was my Living Prophets class.
We learned about Elder Oaks today and it was such a comfort to learn that he, an EXTREMELY successful Judge (he was even offered the Supreme Justice position...) struggled with school. Like me! It was actually a really really great comfort.
We learned about Elder Oaks today and it was such a comfort to learn that he, an EXTREMELY successful Judge (he was even offered the Supreme Justice position...) struggled with school. Like me! It was actually a really really great comfort.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Count Your Blessings...
"Count your many blessings name them one by one. Count your blessings see what God hath done."
This month (starting today) I am going to Count My Blessings. One for everyday for the rest of the month. I did this last year and I can't tell you how much better I felt! So, if you are having a horrible time coping with life, try picking out just one good thing from your day and writing it down. It doesn't have to be public like this but I promise you that no matter where you write it, you'll feel much better. So...
Blessing #1-
Printers. I know this sound silly, but all of my homework for one of my classes is online and we have to print it all off. If I didn't have access to a printer, I'd be in trouble. Printers that work make life so much easier!
This month (starting today) I am going to Count My Blessings. One for everyday for the rest of the month. I did this last year and I can't tell you how much better I felt! So, if you are having a horrible time coping with life, try picking out just one good thing from your day and writing it down. It doesn't have to be public like this but I promise you that no matter where you write it, you'll feel much better. So...
Blessing #1-
Printers. I know this sound silly, but all of my homework for one of my classes is online and we have to print it all off. If I didn't have access to a printer, I'd be in trouble. Printers that work make life so much easier!
Saturday, October 10, 2009
I Never Stay Up This Late
It's 3:00 am. I cannot honestly tell you the last time I stayed up this long. Although I could tell you without a doubt that the last time I did stay up this long it was by choice. Tonight is much different.
Without going into much detail at all (sorry) I've experienced some things tonight that I've experienced before but never to this degree. The energy that this situation completely drained from my body is down right ridiculous and yet it's bothering me so much that I can't even sleep. Something you should know is that for the past couple months I've gone to bed no later than 11:00p.m.! School and work keep me busy and so I keep myself rested, I hate being tired all day just because I stayed up all night doing nothing the night before.
This is silly, I know what's bothering me but I can't do anything about it. Really. The only thing I can do is let it pass. Patience, I know but I feel that if someone wants something they should go out and get it! I've always believed that if you can do something for yourself then no one, not one other person, should do it for you. Now, I know that doesn't mean that just because you want something and work to get it, that you'll get it right away. Unfortunately, a part of me still won't accept that. If I'm working for something I don't want to have to wait weeks or months, I want to be able to see, maybe even just a little, some progress. It's like a painting, Start with a blank canvas, then you add one color and another and another, up close they just look like paint blobs but if you back up the painting is the beautiful French countryside. Not until the painting is finished does one see that beauty, BUT the painter still gets to see bit by bit how he's creating his masterpiece. I feel like I'm painting with invisible paint.
On a more interesting and less complaisant note, I went to the temple today. It felt really good to be in there. But the cool story is this; I was sitting in the confirmation room and there was a girl who went before me who had the last name, Shumway. My curiosity perked up and I wondered whether we were related. You see, if you go back far enough on my family tree I am related to a man named Charles Shumway. After all the confirmations were completed and we were leaving the room I turned and asked her if she knew if she was related to Charles Shumway. She said yes and I automatically said, "We are related my friend!" It was the coolest thing EVER! She smiled and said, "My name is Haley. Look me up on Facebook!" That was the first time I'd ever had anyone ask me to look them up on Facebook at the temple. It was cool.
Well, I believe that I am all out of things to write. I probably won't sleep for awhile but I'll figure out something. That's life for you, I guess.
Without going into much detail at all (sorry) I've experienced some things tonight that I've experienced before but never to this degree. The energy that this situation completely drained from my body is down right ridiculous and yet it's bothering me so much that I can't even sleep. Something you should know is that for the past couple months I've gone to bed no later than 11:00p.m.! School and work keep me busy and so I keep myself rested, I hate being tired all day just because I stayed up all night doing nothing the night before.
This is silly, I know what's bothering me but I can't do anything about it. Really. The only thing I can do is let it pass. Patience, I know but I feel that if someone wants something they should go out and get it! I've always believed that if you can do something for yourself then no one, not one other person, should do it for you. Now, I know that doesn't mean that just because you want something and work to get it, that you'll get it right away. Unfortunately, a part of me still won't accept that. If I'm working for something I don't want to have to wait weeks or months, I want to be able to see, maybe even just a little, some progress. It's like a painting, Start with a blank canvas, then you add one color and another and another, up close they just look like paint blobs but if you back up the painting is the beautiful French countryside. Not until the painting is finished does one see that beauty, BUT the painter still gets to see bit by bit how he's creating his masterpiece. I feel like I'm painting with invisible paint.
On a more interesting and less complaisant note, I went to the temple today. It felt really good to be in there. But the cool story is this; I was sitting in the confirmation room and there was a girl who went before me who had the last name, Shumway. My curiosity perked up and I wondered whether we were related. You see, if you go back far enough on my family tree I am related to a man named Charles Shumway. After all the confirmations were completed and we were leaving the room I turned and asked her if she knew if she was related to Charles Shumway. She said yes and I automatically said, "We are related my friend!" It was the coolest thing EVER! She smiled and said, "My name is Haley. Look me up on Facebook!" That was the first time I'd ever had anyone ask me to look them up on Facebook at the temple. It was cool.
Well, I believe that I am all out of things to write. I probably won't sleep for awhile but I'll figure out something. That's life for you, I guess.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
The Office Just Gave Me A Life Lesson...
Today at work I received a call at work which wasn't so pleasant. In fact, I felt like I would cry when I hung up the phone. Luckily I have coworkers who Facebook stalk me and saw that my status said I needed hugs. They basically surrounded me and enveloped me in love. It was great. Caitlyn and Julia? You guys rock.
My day did indeed get better after that. I took a trip over to the Wilk. where I usually go on Thursdays between work and my Physical Science lab. (Eat a snack and call my mom...yeah) Anyway, I went into the bathroom to wash my hands and this girl, whom I don't know, turned to me and said....and I quote, "Girl, yo outfit looks kickin'. You look good!" and then she left. I felt about 20 times better. Then when I got to my lab a girl in my group said, "Do you know that you are the classiest dresser? Really you look so great all the time!" Add another 20 times better. Then when I got home, my roommate, Jackie, got up and gave me a big hug. :) Then when I went next door for a visit, I was given a big bowl of home-made potato soup. YUM! SO GOOD. Again, add another 20 times better.
So now I'm feeling better.
Moving on...
I'm just now watching "The Office" with my roommates, one of our many bonding activities, and Jim (Oh, Jim) said something that made me think. I won't write what he said but it made me step back and realize that patience is the best policy. Yes. I am a happy camper. Just thought I'd put that out there for everyone to know. :)
My day did indeed get better after that. I took a trip over to the Wilk. where I usually go on Thursdays between work and my Physical Science lab. (Eat a snack and call my mom...yeah) Anyway, I went into the bathroom to wash my hands and this girl, whom I don't know, turned to me and said....and I quote, "Girl, yo outfit looks kickin'. You look good!" and then she left. I felt about 20 times better. Then when I got to my lab a girl in my group said, "Do you know that you are the classiest dresser? Really you look so great all the time!" Add another 20 times better. Then when I got home, my roommate, Jackie, got up and gave me a big hug. :) Then when I went next door for a visit, I was given a big bowl of home-made potato soup. YUM! SO GOOD. Again, add another 20 times better.
So now I'm feeling better.
Moving on...
I'm just now watching "The Office" with my roommates, one of our many bonding activities, and Jim (Oh, Jim) said something that made me think. I won't write what he said but it made me step back and realize that patience is the best policy. Yes. I am a happy camper. Just thought I'd put that out there for everyone to know. :)
Monday, October 5, 2009
Three Hour Naps and Warm Fuzzies
I'm sick. Nothing drastic, just your basic cold. (Which as of late has been effecting my ability to spell correctly. I discovered this while trying to send text messages to my sister last night and ended up sending almost 1/2 of them to someone else....yeah, embarrassing.) Runny nose, head hurts, chills every now and then, watery tired eyes...you know. A cold.
Well, I am forever indebted to some lovely and amazing girls (other than my roommates) who live in K3. Mary, Kate, Anna and Biz. Seriously, my heart is happy just thinking about them. They made me Cinnamon Rolls and came to visit me yesterday. As I pathetically laid there on the couch, Kate baked the rolls, Biz rubbed my feet and Mary smiled so big that I forgot I was sick...until I started coughing and sneezing all over the place. (Not really, I cover my mouth) Anyway, their selfless service and excessive coddling made me feel like a million bucks. Although, I'm sure I didn't look it.
Another little warm fuzzy in my life is a new friend. A few actually. All of whom have accepted me despite my faults and imperfections. I was able, for the first time in a long time, to just sing with one of these new friends. Many people don't understand my therapy...singing. Sure, people enjoy doing it or listening to music but it's how I get through just about everything. I'm grateful for Jared's willingness to come sing with me. I still don't think he knows just how much it meant to me and how grateful I am for his putting off homework for it. So, Jared, if you're reading this, thank you. A lot.
Today was a new day. Having been rejuvenated by General Conference (which totally rocked by the way) and a singing session, I was spiritually ready for anything. My body? Not so much. I'm still sick. But that's life I guess. I tried going to work and eventually just went home. A-I thought I was going to pass out & B-I didn't want to be responsible for getting anyone else sick. So I came home, got into a nice comfy outfit and crashed. Three hours later I woke up, still feeling sick but better.
So yeah, that's my update. :)
Well, I am forever indebted to some lovely and amazing girls (other than my roommates) who live in K3. Mary, Kate, Anna and Biz. Seriously, my heart is happy just thinking about them. They made me Cinnamon Rolls and came to visit me yesterday. As I pathetically laid there on the couch, Kate baked the rolls, Biz rubbed my feet and Mary smiled so big that I forgot I was sick...until I started coughing and sneezing all over the place. (Not really, I cover my mouth) Anyway, their selfless service and excessive coddling made me feel like a million bucks. Although, I'm sure I didn't look it.
Another little warm fuzzy in my life is a new friend. A few actually. All of whom have accepted me despite my faults and imperfections. I was able, for the first time in a long time, to just sing with one of these new friends. Many people don't understand my therapy...singing. Sure, people enjoy doing it or listening to music but it's how I get through just about everything. I'm grateful for Jared's willingness to come sing with me. I still don't think he knows just how much it meant to me and how grateful I am for his putting off homework for it. So, Jared, if you're reading this, thank you. A lot.
Today was a new day. Having been rejuvenated by General Conference (which totally rocked by the way) and a singing session, I was spiritually ready for anything. My body? Not so much. I'm still sick. But that's life I guess. I tried going to work and eventually just went home. A-I thought I was going to pass out & B-I didn't want to be responsible for getting anyone else sick. So I came home, got into a nice comfy outfit and crashed. Three hours later I woke up, still feeling sick but better.
So yeah, that's my update. :)
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Without a Song or a Dance What Are We?
Do you ever feel like you're trapped between logic and emotion? I find myself stuck, hands tied, feet chained, almost every time I try something...oh I don't know, future related? Yes, that seems to be it. The scariest thing is that I'm a planner. I plan what I'm going to wear and eat. I plan what classes I expect to be taking a few semesters in advance. I own a planner and it is very full of organizational...things. LOL.
Though I'm an organized person, I can never seem to store enough emotional back up for those rainy days, which come and completely shut me down. I'm just never prepared for the complete shut down that courses through me. So I go into my "shell", cracked and falling apart though it may be.
My escape, however, is singing. The one thing I've never let myself fail in. Ha, I'm not perfect, no. I just feel that singing is the only thing I have, the only link, to hold me to reality. It's the only life line I have sometimes. Yet, recently, I've had this...hole. A nagging of sorts, like I'm not doing it enough, though I do it almost everyday. It's almost as though there is another part missing. I love singing duets but I'm just fine singing solo...usually. Lately, my melody just seems so...blah. (Which is why I'm excited for Conference tomorrow and Sunday.)
Anyway, I'm not sure what the purpose of this was really. Feel free to pick it apart if so desire. Meanwhile Ill be singing and dancing solo, in the spotlight, enjoying it but going crazy trying to figure out what it is that's missing.
P.S.-If you find it, please let me know.
Though I'm an organized person, I can never seem to store enough emotional back up for those rainy days, which come and completely shut me down. I'm just never prepared for the complete shut down that courses through me. So I go into my "shell", cracked and falling apart though it may be.
My escape, however, is singing. The one thing I've never let myself fail in. Ha, I'm not perfect, no. I just feel that singing is the only thing I have, the only link, to hold me to reality. It's the only life line I have sometimes. Yet, recently, I've had this...hole. A nagging of sorts, like I'm not doing it enough, though I do it almost everyday. It's almost as though there is another part missing. I love singing duets but I'm just fine singing solo...usually. Lately, my melody just seems so...blah. (Which is why I'm excited for Conference tomorrow and Sunday.)
Anyway, I'm not sure what the purpose of this was really. Feel free to pick it apart if so desire. Meanwhile Ill be singing and dancing solo, in the spotlight, enjoying it but going crazy trying to figure out what it is that's missing.
P.S.-If you find it, please let me know.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Happy Day, All Is Well!
I just thought I'd write about something that makes me extremely happy. Every hour here on campus, no matter where you are (unless you're inside of a building) you can here the Bell Tower playing the Hymn "All is Well" It's so comforting just to here the few chimes of the chorus. I'm really grateful for that bell tower!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
We Thank Thee, O God, For a Prophet!
Today I was more than blessed to have a filled to overflowing fabulous day. Here's the low-down.
I woke up this morning around 7:15 showered and all that jazz and headed off to my Living Prophets Class. Oh my gracious. It was amazing. Today we focused all of our energy and attention on Thomas S. Monson the living, breathing, amazing President of the Church and the Lord's mouthpiece here on the earth today. Despite his leadership positions throughout his life, he was an amazing man. As a child he would go with his father on Sunday's to his crippled uncle's home. There they would carry his uncle out and place him into the car and take a Sunday drive. He was an extraordinarily patient and persistent man. Our text for this section is a compilation of talks that he has given throughout his life.
But more excitingly he visited BYU for our weekly Devotional. The Marriot Center (which holds 22, 700 people) was packed and not even every student was able to be in there! I was blessed enough to be, granted I watched the profile of his face or the screen the whole time. Still, it was one of the most amazing spiritual experiences I have ever had.
It was almost like story time, with a twist. He elaborated on Presidents who have passed on and what their ministry brought to the world. He told of their persistence, dedication, determination, ability to love others far more than themselves, their patience and their love for learning. He elaborated on a story for us, which I knew was a deviation from the script because the teleprompter stopped rolling for a moment. I really want to share it because it made me laugh so hard!
"One day a man came to the Church Headquarters wishing to speak to the Prophet because he was unhappy with the decision the First Presidency had made to send his son to the New England Mission.
He said, 'I don't want my son to go there! I want him to serve in the Old England Mission!'
Patiently President Kimball, the president at the time, asked which mission he would prefer in the old England mission, then listed them all Bristol, London, London South etc.
The man was somewhat flustered, though President Kimball was more patient than ever. He responded, 'Well, London sounds fine or...or maybe Bristol?"
After some time the man left and President Kimball turned to me (this is President Monson speaking remember) and said with a smile on his face, 'Some parents can be so unusual.' He didn't use the word I would've used!" He paused because we were all laughing then added, "But he also wasn't in Navy like I was!" The roaring laughter took awhile to clam down. But once it did he went on to other past prophets. He ended with a simple, wonderful testimony and with the spirit so thick and sweet filling that arena, bid us a goodbye until next time.
As I stood up, as custom when a Prophet enters or exits the room, my heart was swollen with overwhelming joy and love for not only the man who had been in that room with us for a little over an hour, speaking to us as old friends, but for the Ultimate power behind him, The Lord. How grateful I am that The Lord would send such a righteous man to continue to lead His people like in days of old. I bear my testimony to any of you who may read this that President Thomas S. Monson is a modern day prophet. Though I know many of you are not LDS (Mormon) and may not believe in what I believe but know that The Lord would not abandon us now. He is the same yesterday, today and forever and if there were Prophets of old, like Isaiah and Moses and John The Baptist, we will have them today and forever. I know that God lives and loves us. He has guided my life and blessed it so abundantly that words cannot even express it. I love the Lord my God and his servant Thomas S. Monson and know that through our faith, miracles can happen. The future is only as bright as our faith.
I woke up this morning around 7:15 showered and all that jazz and headed off to my Living Prophets Class. Oh my gracious. It was amazing. Today we focused all of our energy and attention on Thomas S. Monson the living, breathing, amazing President of the Church and the Lord's mouthpiece here on the earth today. Despite his leadership positions throughout his life, he was an amazing man. As a child he would go with his father on Sunday's to his crippled uncle's home. There they would carry his uncle out and place him into the car and take a Sunday drive. He was an extraordinarily patient and persistent man. Our text for this section is a compilation of talks that he has given throughout his life.
But more excitingly he visited BYU for our weekly Devotional. The Marriot Center (which holds 22, 700 people) was packed and not even every student was able to be in there! I was blessed enough to be, granted I watched the profile of his face or the screen the whole time. Still, it was one of the most amazing spiritual experiences I have ever had.
It was almost like story time, with a twist. He elaborated on Presidents who have passed on and what their ministry brought to the world. He told of their persistence, dedication, determination, ability to love others far more than themselves, their patience and their love for learning. He elaborated on a story for us, which I knew was a deviation from the script because the teleprompter stopped rolling for a moment. I really want to share it because it made me laugh so hard!
"One day a man came to the Church Headquarters wishing to speak to the Prophet because he was unhappy with the decision the First Presidency had made to send his son to the New England Mission.
He said, 'I don't want my son to go there! I want him to serve in the Old England Mission!'
Patiently President Kimball, the president at the time, asked which mission he would prefer in the old England mission, then listed them all Bristol, London, London South etc.
The man was somewhat flustered, though President Kimball was more patient than ever. He responded, 'Well, London sounds fine or...or maybe Bristol?"
After some time the man left and President Kimball turned to me (this is President Monson speaking remember) and said with a smile on his face, 'Some parents can be so unusual.' He didn't use the word I would've used!" He paused because we were all laughing then added, "But he also wasn't in Navy like I was!" The roaring laughter took awhile to clam down. But once it did he went on to other past prophets. He ended with a simple, wonderful testimony and with the spirit so thick and sweet filling that arena, bid us a goodbye until next time.
As I stood up, as custom when a Prophet enters or exits the room, my heart was swollen with overwhelming joy and love for not only the man who had been in that room with us for a little over an hour, speaking to us as old friends, but for the Ultimate power behind him, The Lord. How grateful I am that The Lord would send such a righteous man to continue to lead His people like in days of old. I bear my testimony to any of you who may read this that President Thomas S. Monson is a modern day prophet. Though I know many of you are not LDS (Mormon) and may not believe in what I believe but know that The Lord would not abandon us now. He is the same yesterday, today and forever and if there were Prophets of old, like Isaiah and Moses and John The Baptist, we will have them today and forever. I know that God lives and loves us. He has guided my life and blessed it so abundantly that words cannot even express it. I love the Lord my God and his servant Thomas S. Monson and know that through our faith, miracles can happen. The future is only as bright as our faith.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
NINE, NINE, NINE!!!!
Interesting:
* September 9, 2009, is the 252nd day of the year, 252 adds to 9, and 09-09-09 = 27.
* 09-09-09 is also the last of the single-digits dates for quite a while - 92 years to be precise.
* The day itself falls on a Wednesday and both Wednesday & September have 9 letters.
I saw this and thought it was really really cool. I had to post it!
* September 9, 2009, is the 252nd day of the year, 252 adds to 9, and 09-09-09 = 27.
* 09-09-09 is also the last of the single-digits dates for quite a while - 92 years to be precise.
* The day itself falls on a Wednesday and both Wednesday & September have 9 letters.
I saw this and thought it was really really cool. I had to post it!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Make Your Own Luck
It's weird what time can do to people. It weird what mistakes stick out from your past the most, reminding you that you don't want to repeat that specific one ever, by accident or otherwise. Something like my inexplicable capability to just automatically trust someone (something like their innocent until proven guilty). Then there is my over imaginative mind. I think up all these grand plans and schemes and when something doesn't happen how I think it should I
get discouraged but I also know that the way I dream things up belong in some movie or book, none of it is ever really made for the real world. But sometimes, just every now and then I wish that I could have a little taste of fiction in this non-fiction world. And why not? Every girl deserves to feel like Cinderella when the Prince finally finds her at some point in their life. But I want a Prince Charming and not a Dud. It's only natural to want that. So, instead of moping around and cursing the heavens for only making it okay to lose your slipper at a ball in a fairytale story and not in real life, I decided to do something about it. Wear my heart on my sleeve, be myself, take whatever comes. And so I have. But with that comes the times where you put yourself out there and get shot down like a duck on that old Nintendo game. But I suppose what doesn't kill you makes you... Each time something like that happens I know in which ways to guard myself better without putting my "heart" anywhere but my sleeve. You see those girls everywhere where all they have to do is a flip of the hair and a smile and voi la-presto chango- Abra kadabra (take your pick) they have a tall dark and handsome by their side. HAHA, don't get me wrong, I'm sure their great guys but why is it that almost every guy goes for that? The whole "look at me I'm beautiful but have absolutely no personality!" or the "I am pretty and have a personality but it's nothing that should attract you!" Okay, so maybe I'm being a bit harsh but UHG! Somebody GAG ME, please!
Maybe I should clarify the purpose of this blog. There are two. One is to relieve my frustration and ramble away as though everyone cares about what I have to say and the second is to maybe get an answer as to why people are so desperate to have a "somebody" that they throw themselves at "anybody"!? I'm single and will stay that way until I find someone with a personality that fits mine, someone who cares about me because I'm important to them not because being in a relationship is important to them. Someone who can look at me and see the most beautiful girl ever, regardless of what I look like. I feel bad for those people who have to be in a relationship to feel good about themselves or to feel like they are needed. You can't be happy in relationship until you're happy single. It's very very true.
So I like someone, he is new and from what I have experienced about him very nice and worth getting to know more. This is where I will make my own luck and if it's meant to be it will happen, if not, I will move on, just like anybody else should. Heck, I may want a Prince Charming but I'm going to fight for the right one. I deserve the best. You wont see me settling any time soon for just anybody. No sir.
get discouraged but I also know that the way I dream things up belong in some movie or book, none of it is ever really made for the real world. But sometimes, just every now and then I wish that I could have a little taste of fiction in this non-fiction world. And why not? Every girl deserves to feel like Cinderella when the Prince finally finds her at some point in their life. But I want a Prince Charming and not a Dud. It's only natural to want that. So, instead of moping around and cursing the heavens for only making it okay to lose your slipper at a ball in a fairytale story and not in real life, I decided to do something about it. Wear my heart on my sleeve, be myself, take whatever comes. And so I have. But with that comes the times where you put yourself out there and get shot down like a duck on that old Nintendo game. But I suppose what doesn't kill you makes you... Each time something like that happens I know in which ways to guard myself better without putting my "heart" anywhere but my sleeve. You see those girls everywhere where all they have to do is a flip of the hair and a smile and voi la-presto chango- Abra kadabra (take your pick) they have a tall dark and handsome by their side. HAHA, don't get me wrong, I'm sure their great guys but why is it that almost every guy goes for that? The whole "look at me I'm beautiful but have absolutely no personality!" or the "I am pretty and have a personality but it's nothing that should attract you!" Okay, so maybe I'm being a bit harsh but UHG! Somebody GAG ME, please!
Maybe I should clarify the purpose of this blog. There are two. One is to relieve my frustration and ramble away as though everyone cares about what I have to say and the second is to maybe get an answer as to why people are so desperate to have a "somebody" that they throw themselves at "anybody"!? I'm single and will stay that way until I find someone with a personality that fits mine, someone who cares about me because I'm important to them not because being in a relationship is important to them. Someone who can look at me and see the most beautiful girl ever, regardless of what I look like. I feel bad for those people who have to be in a relationship to feel good about themselves or to feel like they are needed. You can't be happy in relationship until you're happy single. It's very very true.
So I like someone, he is new and from what I have experienced about him very nice and worth getting to know more. This is where I will make my own luck and if it's meant to be it will happen, if not, I will move on, just like anybody else should. Heck, I may want a Prince Charming but I'm going to fight for the right one. I deserve the best. You wont see me settling any time soon for just anybody. No sir.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
"Write it REAL!"
Some of you may know that for the past five years I have been writing a book. It started when an idea just popped into my head and has been progressing (though slowly) through the years. After an extended vacation and trying to rewrite it with a completely new tone, I decided to scrap all the new stuff and continue editing where I'd left of in the original.
This was a task I certainly wasn't ready for. If you've ever written a book you'd understand why. You get so attached to characters and little scenes that when it comes down to the question of "Do I really need this?" or "Is this really important to the plot?" your heart aches a little when you realize that the answer is no.
However, I have been saved. I have been given one of the best things a writer can have while the embark on their journey. A companion. An editor.
Now, know that Ashley is indeed not a true "editor" but she is going to school to become one and I already know that she'll be a good one. She's like the gardener to my overgrown and messy garden. She knows what questions to ask, what advice to give and up to this point I don't believe that she'd told me anything that she didn't truly mean. For example, my story had been rather filled with fluff, butterflies and rainbows...completely the opposite of what I truly want. Her comment to me was, "Then write it real! No one is going to believe or even want to read that characters aren't flawed or that a bunch of siblings all under the age of fifteen get along like peanut butter and jelly. Write it real! Be REAL!"
It was like someone was finally speaking my language. Truth and constructive criticism will get me farther than any lied compliment will. That is why I love having Ashley around. It's amazing how day after day you find little reasons why you are where you are. Why God has put you there. Ashley is just one.
The other night we stayed up until 4 am discussing me book. I loved it. Though I was more than merely tired the next day I felt so much better.
It's funny to me really. I'm a very "no clutter" person. Just ask my roommates, they probably all think I'm OCD or something but it just feels good to know that I'm not burdened my unnecessary things! What's funny about this is that I never realized that that was the reason I put my book on hold for as long as I did. There was may too much....stuff! I am now in the process of dejunking and redirecting my plot. I must say that I have never felt better.
This was a task I certainly wasn't ready for. If you've ever written a book you'd understand why. You get so attached to characters and little scenes that when it comes down to the question of "Do I really need this?" or "Is this really important to the plot?" your heart aches a little when you realize that the answer is no.
However, I have been saved. I have been given one of the best things a writer can have while the embark on their journey. A companion. An editor.
Now, know that Ashley is indeed not a true "editor" but she is going to school to become one and I already know that she'll be a good one. She's like the gardener to my overgrown and messy garden. She knows what questions to ask, what advice to give and up to this point I don't believe that she'd told me anything that she didn't truly mean. For example, my story had been rather filled with fluff, butterflies and rainbows...completely the opposite of what I truly want. Her comment to me was, "Then write it real! No one is going to believe or even want to read that characters aren't flawed or that a bunch of siblings all under the age of fifteen get along like peanut butter and jelly. Write it real! Be REAL!"
It was like someone was finally speaking my language. Truth and constructive criticism will get me farther than any lied compliment will. That is why I love having Ashley around. It's amazing how day after day you find little reasons why you are where you are. Why God has put you there. Ashley is just one.
The other night we stayed up until 4 am discussing me book. I loved it. Though I was more than merely tired the next day I felt so much better.
It's funny to me really. I'm a very "no clutter" person. Just ask my roommates, they probably all think I'm OCD or something but it just feels good to know that I'm not burdened my unnecessary things! What's funny about this is that I never realized that that was the reason I put my book on hold for as long as I did. There was may too much....stuff! I am now in the process of dejunking and redirecting my plot. I must say that I have never felt better.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
"Run With Patience The Path That Is Set Before You" Hebrews 12 1-2
So this week I found out some news that seriously made me want to throw up. I found out that I can't get a loan for school. Now, this wouldn't be so bad if I had been smarter with my money and had saved even just a smidgen of it...but alas, I did not. (Don't worry, I've already kicked myself repeatedly for this.) Like I was saying this news wouldn't be so bad if it didn't set off a series of unfortunate events. No loan (no money) means no school for at least another semester. I'm very bummed about it...very bummed. No school means no school, campus job. No job means no money. Yeah, I was panicking. Just ask my parents. (Ah, my patient, loving parents thank goodness for them!) Anyway, now you may wonder what has happened to my summer job? Well, the end of the summer that's what. And because I was expecting to get a loan and be a student and have an on campus job, I hadn't been forceful in letting my Supervisor know that I was available for the off season. Then when I finally asked, he let me know that they were full. (I found out just the other day that this is not true because he asked me to fill out a post-season schedule. We'll see what happens with this...)
So believing that I had no job for the fall, I frantically took control of the reins and entered the crazy world of craigslist. After sending 30 resumes out in less than 48 hours, I recieved 2 phone calls from different companies wanting to have me in for interviews. Today was the big day. I borowed my friend's car and set out for the two very differnent jobs. One is only part time (4 hours a night) and I have to catch 2 buses...blah. The other is full time and it's close enough that I can walk there. Both jobs pay about the same $8.50-$9.50 DOE. I really want the second one. They owners seemed really nice and put together and I enjoyed being at their tiny, hole-in-the-wall office. It excited me to be there. The first one made me feel really icky. Anyway, I'm supposed to hear back from the second one by the end of today...I really hope I get this job! AHHH! It's making me nervous.
This all brings me to here and now. At my going-to-end-on-saturday-most-likely job. The phones are basically dead and there are WAY to many people here for the volume of calls we're getting. I pulled out my planner and opened the front cover and found a sticky note that I'd put there about a year ago. It reads "Run with patience the path that is set before you..." Hebrews 12 1-2. I though that it is very appropriate for this time in my life. So many of my friends are getting engaged or married (two of my roomies are getting married THIS MONTH!) and I don't even have a boyfriend. (which I'm okay with...it's just weird. Sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with me.) All of my roomies are moving out and I'm getting new/old ones. I may not have a job. I have no money. I still have to get an education and pay for it by myself....all of these things can seem overwhelming at times. Especially right now. That's why that scripture was so perfect for me at the moment. "Run with patience..." Life sometimes seems like a race and we can sometimes get annoyed with it but I know that if I have patience the Lord will provide for me. I'm so happy right now. Though I may not have a job I do have amazing friends, great roomies, wonderful home teachers and more importantly a loving family. My parents have been so good to me and I owe them so much. I also have a loving and merciful Heavenly Father who knows me better than myself. I know that if I trust in Him and consult with Him, He will direct my path.
The sun can't shine into your living room unless you open up the blinds!
So believing that I had no job for the fall, I frantically took control of the reins and entered the crazy world of craigslist. After sending 30 resumes out in less than 48 hours, I recieved 2 phone calls from different companies wanting to have me in for interviews. Today was the big day. I borowed my friend's car and set out for the two very differnent jobs. One is only part time (4 hours a night) and I have to catch 2 buses...blah. The other is full time and it's close enough that I can walk there. Both jobs pay about the same $8.50-$9.50 DOE. I really want the second one. They owners seemed really nice and put together and I enjoyed being at their tiny, hole-in-the-wall office. It excited me to be there. The first one made me feel really icky. Anyway, I'm supposed to hear back from the second one by the end of today...I really hope I get this job! AHHH! It's making me nervous.
This all brings me to here and now. At my going-to-end-on-saturday-most-likely job. The phones are basically dead and there are WAY to many people here for the volume of calls we're getting. I pulled out my planner and opened the front cover and found a sticky note that I'd put there about a year ago. It reads "Run with patience the path that is set before you..." Hebrews 12 1-2. I though that it is very appropriate for this time in my life. So many of my friends are getting engaged or married (two of my roomies are getting married THIS MONTH!) and I don't even have a boyfriend. (which I'm okay with...it's just weird. Sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with me.) All of my roomies are moving out and I'm getting new/old ones. I may not have a job. I have no money. I still have to get an education and pay for it by myself....all of these things can seem overwhelming at times. Especially right now. That's why that scripture was so perfect for me at the moment. "Run with patience..." Life sometimes seems like a race and we can sometimes get annoyed with it but I know that if I have patience the Lord will provide for me. I'm so happy right now. Though I may not have a job I do have amazing friends, great roomies, wonderful home teachers and more importantly a loving family. My parents have been so good to me and I owe them so much. I also have a loving and merciful Heavenly Father who knows me better than myself. I know that if I trust in Him and consult with Him, He will direct my path.
The sun can't shine into your living room unless you open up the blinds!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Here are Some of The Pics I've Promised...
We'd moved our table out into the living room and had a traditional English dinner before the show. This is me...I'm dressed up as Ginny.
Ron, Hermione and Ginny.
Ron-Kristian Mostert, Hermione-Rachel Matheson and Harry-Jeff Hawks.
Headed to Lunch after a few hours at the beach.
Dinner at Claim Jumper.
Melinda and myself on the drive back from Cali.
Me at Salt Creek Beach. The waves there were AWESOME!There are A LOT more pics from both Harry Potter and California on Facebook. You should check them out and leave me some comments!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
CaLiForNia!!
It was fun. The Waves were flippin' SAWEET! SO BIG. No really! I got knocked over a few times. It was great. The sand and the salt weren't so great but that's no big deal. I camped in the back yard with 90% of the other girls and now I really want to go on a real camping trip....Grand Canyon anyone? Hmm...I do have sisters close by who like adventuring...I'll have to ask! Anyway, I took about 100-125 pics but not a lot of them are of me. Most of the pics of me are on other people's cameras! ;) I'm just going to have to have them e-mail them to me. (Wow, did you follow?) lol. So like I've said previously about Harry Potter pics..they are soon to come! AND if you really want to see all of them (because I won't stick them all on here...) you can find them on my facebook! YAY! Sheesh! I have about 3 albums I need to put up! I promise to do them tomorrow, since I have the day off. But I'll also intend on enjoying that day off and using it to wind down.
I've already unpacked...showering is my next goal. :) But you have to admit, unpacking is the hardest part. And it's not like I stink or haven't showered, I've just been in a car all day long and you know how that can be.
Anyway so about the trip. We, my little group, left Thursday morning at around...7. We arrived in California at about 3:30 and I basically stretched my body as far as it could go and layed on the ground until dinner time. Which was yummy hot dogs and hamburgers...as was almost every other meal on the trip, but not all of them. That night we went to Laguna Beach. We didn't swim, we just watched the sunset and if that's not magical I don't know what is. Anyway, Friday we went shopping and to the pool, some of us played games, some watched movies and others basically just took naps. That evening, Edwards dad, the host of our adventure, gave us a mini concert. He's a professional singer/actor. For those of you who have seen Rigoletto, he's the butler, Hauns. He sang a few old hymns/songs in honor of Pioneer Day. I never thought I'd ever hear a version of Home on The Range that would make me cry...yeah, I was wrong. He also sang, Brother, Can You Spare A Dime from New Americana (but it was made famous by Bing Crosby and Rudy Vallee), No One Is Alone from Into the Woods, which had me blubbering, it was the last song and SO powerful...SO powerful, he also sang The Melody Within from Rigoletto, Who Can I Turn To (When Nobody Needs Me) from The Roar of the Greaspaint, The Smell of the Crowd another one that made me cry and he sang The Impossible Dream from one of my favorite shows, the Man of La Mancha. Every note, every emotion that came from that man was divine and splendid. Couldn't have been more impressed. After the concert we went to Claim Jumper...the reason all Americans could lose some weight. I swear it. Burgers the size of your FACE, sandwiches as tall as your forearm is long...MASSIVE amounts of food. Yes, you pay about 13 bucks a plate but one plate could feed and FILL a family of four. Easy peasy. It was yummy. Saturday we went to Salt Creek Beach. That was FUN! I got tired of playing in the water after about 2 hours though. The sun, sand, and salt is really a lot to take in. Not to mention that the waves were ridiculously strong...and HUGE but that made it much more fun. Then we went to In and Out for Lunch, it was good. First time for everything, right? After that some people went back to the beach but I had a feeling I'd be pushing it had I gone back. (Energy wise...) Instead a few of us went back home and played in the pool. Partially because it was water to play in without getting eaten alive by sandy-salt monster and partially because we wanted to be the first ones to get to really rinse of and enjoy some quiet time at the pool! Then we had pizza and salad and fruit for dinner and then we all just hung out...like usual. Only because we were on vacation we were all kind of forced to hang out together...lol. No, it was nice to be able to chill after a long day. Then today we got up, took down the tents, packed the cars, went to Sacrament Meeting and headed out! It was nice to be on vacation but it's also nice to be back with my own bed...not on the ground without a sleeping bag...and have my own bathroom, well, one that I have to share with only 3 others instead of 27. It was a bizarre but so worth it and so fun. I'll put the pics up soon...tomorrow, because I promised, but for now, that is all. Good night!
I've already unpacked...showering is my next goal. :) But you have to admit, unpacking is the hardest part. And it's not like I stink or haven't showered, I've just been in a car all day long and you know how that can be.
Anyway so about the trip. We, my little group, left Thursday morning at around...7. We arrived in California at about 3:30 and I basically stretched my body as far as it could go and layed on the ground until dinner time. Which was yummy hot dogs and hamburgers...as was almost every other meal on the trip, but not all of them. That night we went to Laguna Beach. We didn't swim, we just watched the sunset and if that's not magical I don't know what is. Anyway, Friday we went shopping and to the pool, some of us played games, some watched movies and others basically just took naps. That evening, Edwards dad, the host of our adventure, gave us a mini concert. He's a professional singer/actor. For those of you who have seen Rigoletto, he's the butler, Hauns. He sang a few old hymns/songs in honor of Pioneer Day. I never thought I'd ever hear a version of Home on The Range that would make me cry...yeah, I was wrong. He also sang, Brother, Can You Spare A Dime from New Americana (but it was made famous by Bing Crosby and Rudy Vallee), No One Is Alone from Into the Woods, which had me blubbering, it was the last song and SO powerful...SO powerful, he also sang The Melody Within from Rigoletto, Who Can I Turn To (When Nobody Needs Me) from The Roar of the Greaspaint, The Smell of the Crowd another one that made me cry and he sang The Impossible Dream from one of my favorite shows, the Man of La Mancha. Every note, every emotion that came from that man was divine and splendid. Couldn't have been more impressed. After the concert we went to Claim Jumper...the reason all Americans could lose some weight. I swear it. Burgers the size of your FACE, sandwiches as tall as your forearm is long...MASSIVE amounts of food. Yes, you pay about 13 bucks a plate but one plate could feed and FILL a family of four. Easy peasy. It was yummy. Saturday we went to Salt Creek Beach. That was FUN! I got tired of playing in the water after about 2 hours though. The sun, sand, and salt is really a lot to take in. Not to mention that the waves were ridiculously strong...and HUGE but that made it much more fun. Then we went to In and Out for Lunch, it was good. First time for everything, right? After that some people went back to the beach but I had a feeling I'd be pushing it had I gone back. (Energy wise...) Instead a few of us went back home and played in the pool. Partially because it was water to play in without getting eaten alive by sandy-salt monster and partially because we wanted to be the first ones to get to really rinse of and enjoy some quiet time at the pool! Then we had pizza and salad and fruit for dinner and then we all just hung out...like usual. Only because we were on vacation we were all kind of forced to hang out together...lol. No, it was nice to be able to chill after a long day. Then today we got up, took down the tents, packed the cars, went to Sacrament Meeting and headed out! It was nice to be on vacation but it's also nice to be back with my own bed...not on the ground without a sleeping bag...and have my own bathroom, well, one that I have to share with only 3 others instead of 27. It was a bizarre but so worth it and so fun. I'll put the pics up soon...tomorrow, because I promised, but for now, that is all. Good night!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
HIHkndlfhalsdfjuhijfmakldfnlidsf;ok;.,ijhliyfg!!!!!!
No, I have no idea. I'm usually not one to describe my emotions by randomly running my fingers around on the keyboard...yeah, well, today is just one of those days. So sue me.
I really just have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. One that's just bugging me to death. Maybe it's a mix of guilt and boredom and anxiety....actually, I know that's what it is. Guilt for a really valid reason...I broke a rule...boredom because I'm at work and that's always just so much fun...no, not really, and anxiety because I'm leaving for California tomorrow morning as a soon as I get out of here I'm FREE! At least for the weekend. Which is definitely more than I need. Just a little vacation where I don't have to worry about work or school or...anything. I mean, eventually I'm going to have face whatever problems I have in front of me but I just can't right now. I just want to put them all on hold, build up my "I can do this" meter and then face it like Daniel faced the Lions. (Plus, my rule breaking will probably be forgotten by next Tuesday...) Anyway, I feel like I'm going to throw up but I guess that's what happens....oh well.
I really just have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. One that's just bugging me to death. Maybe it's a mix of guilt and boredom and anxiety....actually, I know that's what it is. Guilt for a really valid reason...I broke a rule...boredom because I'm at work and that's always just so much fun...no, not really, and anxiety because I'm leaving for California tomorrow morning as a soon as I get out of here I'm FREE! At least for the weekend. Which is definitely more than I need. Just a little vacation where I don't have to worry about work or school or...anything. I mean, eventually I'm going to have face whatever problems I have in front of me but I just can't right now. I just want to put them all on hold, build up my "I can do this" meter and then face it like Daniel faced the Lions. (Plus, my rule breaking will probably be forgotten by next Tuesday...) Anyway, I feel like I'm going to throw up but I guess that's what happens....oh well.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Just call me Eponine.
I know this sounds ridiculous and well, yeah, ridiculous but I'm feeling very much in tune with Eponine. Or Elphaba when Fiero first liked Galinda. Let's just say that now I am the only lonely one in my apartment. Two engaged, one who likes a boy who I liked but he likes her so...you know. Now it's just, me. No prospects to look to no nothing. Just two weddings and a potential new boyfriend for my roommate.
To be honest it's not the fact that I liked the guy who now likes my roommate. It's the fact that my roommate is someone I envy and compare myself to often. It's just my luck that life would play out like this. I'm just happy that they're happy. It's not like they're dating...yet. And we've talked about it, she knows I love her and knows I'm going to be okay with it. I just need time.
My insecurities are definitely highlighted right now and that's really hard for me. That and I'm finding out, for the first time why it's called a "crush". I've liked people before but this situation is new and I'm hurt. For now. I'm sure I'll be fine soon. Just need some time.
This is probably making no sense....uhg. Life.
To be honest it's not the fact that I liked the guy who now likes my roommate. It's the fact that my roommate is someone I envy and compare myself to often. It's just my luck that life would play out like this. I'm just happy that they're happy. It's not like they're dating...yet. And we've talked about it, she knows I love her and knows I'm going to be okay with it. I just need time.
My insecurities are definitely highlighted right now and that's really hard for me. That and I'm finding out, for the first time why it's called a "crush". I've liked people before but this situation is new and I'm hurt. For now. I'm sure I'll be fine soon. Just need some time.
This is probably making no sense....uhg. Life.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Yes, that's right. I am dressing up as Ginny and will be leaving in about 15 minutes to go see this movie. I'm sure it's not going to be as great as all the hype...(things like this never are)...BUT it's just so awesome that everyone finds that little piece of childhood in them still because of all the magic. It seriously rocks. Yes, yes, yes, don't worry about me I'll watch out for those creepers...(The ones who think that dressing up as dementors and scaring little children is fun.) I AM SO EXCITED! I'll be posting pictures here and on facebook ASAP!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
My Lament.
To be honest, and objectivly so, I have to say that I am no size two 5'10" super model with sweeping blonde hair and eyes that just scream, "You know I look gorgeous and can't deny it." Nope. I'm 5'5" somewhat curvatious and I have straight, red (yes, it's dyed...so sue me!) shoulder length hair and regular brown eyes that don't really scream much of anything. I'm struggling to pay my way through college and I don't have a lot of extra time on my hands to just lie around and work on my "tan". Not that it would be much of one anyway (I'm the girl who really should've been born a red head due to my freckled, pale skin.) I'd basically just become a lobster. I'm not a very good dancer, therfore my "grace" is somewhat...misplaced. I'm not a very talented writer. I don't cook or bake well...at all. School isn't really my thing..acedemically that is, and I'm not very good at sports
However, I am outgoing, I care about people, I can sing, I can act. And in fact, I feel like all of my faults and imperfections are trumped by the things that I AM good at. Things that I CAN do.
So let me ask one question. Why is it that so many people feel that they have the right to look at me, without knowing me, and make a snap decision on WHO I am, what I'm capable of, of ME? I just don't get it! It's lame.
Though I'm comfortable, 90% of the time, with who I am and what I look like, it's still hard and it still takes a toll on my confidence when someone just won't let up on the fact that I'm not that sexy super model previously mentioned. I mean, let's get real here, I'll never be that tall...or thin, EVER and I'm okay with that but that doesn't make it any easier sometimes. Especially when you have constant reminders drowning you. (Like the fact that you are single and though you've been set up on dates with some really nice people they've all decided that 'you just aren't their...'type'") Somebody gag me, please.
Now please don't think that I'm ever going to waste time or tears over someone who can't see me for who and what I am. No thank you, I'm much smarter than that. They aren't worth fighting for or even giving the slightest notion to. Go your way and find your type (though shallow it may be) and I'll go mine and actually find (hopefully...someday) a relationship that is deep and meaningful. I know, I'm just serving cliches here but it's true. Yet, somehow it still gets under my skin. Why is that?!
It seriously makes me so frustrangry! (Yes, my made up word has made its second appearance.)
So there you go. My Lament. Though futile my attemps may be to convey just how annoyed I am, I've tried. Sorry , Yoda, today, there is only trying.
However, I am outgoing, I care about people, I can sing, I can act. And in fact, I feel like all of my faults and imperfections are trumped by the things that I AM good at. Things that I CAN do.
So let me ask one question. Why is it that so many people feel that they have the right to look at me, without knowing me, and make a snap decision on WHO I am, what I'm capable of, of ME? I just don't get it! It's lame.
Though I'm comfortable, 90% of the time, with who I am and what I look like, it's still hard and it still takes a toll on my confidence when someone just won't let up on the fact that I'm not that sexy super model previously mentioned. I mean, let's get real here, I'll never be that tall...or thin, EVER and I'm okay with that but that doesn't make it any easier sometimes. Especially when you have constant reminders drowning you. (Like the fact that you are single and though you've been set up on dates with some really nice people they've all decided that 'you just aren't their...'type'") Somebody gag me, please.
Now please don't think that I'm ever going to waste time or tears over someone who can't see me for who and what I am. No thank you, I'm much smarter than that. They aren't worth fighting for or even giving the slightest notion to. Go your way and find your type (though shallow it may be) and I'll go mine and actually find (hopefully...someday) a relationship that is deep and meaningful. I know, I'm just serving cliches here but it's true. Yet, somehow it still gets under my skin. Why is that?!
It seriously makes me so frustrangry! (Yes, my made up word has made its second appearance.)
So there you go. My Lament. Though futile my attemps may be to convey just how annoyed I am, I've tried. Sorry , Yoda, today, there is only trying.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Sacrifice is Love Undimmed by Selfishness.
I know this is a day late but I wanted to thank those men and women who selflessly give up time with their wives, husbands, children, parents, and friends to the call of duty and protect the rights and freedoms that we are able to live everyday here in the great United States.Today in sacrament meeting as many bore their testimonies of their gratefulness of our Independence, a common theme played on the tip of everyone's tongue. God sacrifice his only begotten Son to suffer in this world so that we may have a path to return to Him by. In the scriptures we can read "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." -John 15:13 Christ did this. He did this on a level that can not be matched for he laid down his life for everyone who was to ever enter this world. On a much smaller but still very noble scale, men and women lay down their lives for the rest of us. They are those who serve their country with pride and honor.
I am proud to say that my Dad, though he did not die for his country, did serve his country valiantly. He put aside whatever else he may have desired to be in the United States Air Force. My dad is my hero. I'm so grateful for him and the sacrifices he has made for me and my family. I'm so grateful that there are not one but two national holidays in which I can celebrate my Dad.
Sacrifice is the ultimate gift of love that anyone can give another. It is selfless and pure in the highest form.
Though the weekend is drawing to a close and Independence Day is becoming just another dimming memory, I hope that we all can remember everyday to be grateful for those who serve this country, those who sacrifice so much for us such as parents, but ultimately Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ who laid down his life so that we could live and enjoy the beauties of this world.
I know that my Redeemer lives and that he loves each and everyone of us. I hope that you all can come to know of that as strongly as I do.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Dear Friend
The world is harsh, it lies, it lies
But you're not lost to life.
There are those here who care, dear friend
The tide will soon release you.
Hold onto the sun, it shines, it shines
For those lost on their way.
You're never to far gone, dear friend
The light will always guide you.
My ears are here, they listen, they listen
For your words of sorrow.
And nothing you could say, dear friend
Will vanish me tomorrow.
My arms are here, they comfort, they comfort
If you will only let them.
For darkness is unkind, dear friend
But you are never alone.
My heart is here, it hurts, it hurts
With every pain you're feeling.
It slows, it quickens, it beats, dear friend
For the life that you are living.
The world is harsh, it lies, it lies
But you're not lost to life.
For I am here and care, dear friend
My love will never release you.
But you're not lost to life.
There are those here who care, dear friend
The tide will soon release you.
Hold onto the sun, it shines, it shines
For those lost on their way.
You're never to far gone, dear friend
The light will always guide you.
My ears are here, they listen, they listen
For your words of sorrow.
And nothing you could say, dear friend
Will vanish me tomorrow.
My arms are here, they comfort, they comfort
If you will only let them.
For darkness is unkind, dear friend
But you are never alone.
My heart is here, it hurts, it hurts
With every pain you're feeling.
It slows, it quickens, it beats, dear friend
For the life that you are living.
The world is harsh, it lies, it lies
But you're not lost to life.
For I am here and care, dear friend
My love will never release you.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
There's No Place Like Home.
Though the past weekend was quite busy I did get to spend it at home. Not here in Provo. Although my five day trip was shortened to a four day trip, I still got to go home. Although I had to come back to Provo, back to the boring thing known as my life, I did get to have a vacation at HOME! It was wonderful. I got to spend some time with my family and my friends. I couldn't have asked for a better vacation. Okay, that one day more would've been nice but I can't change that. (My flight home on Thursday was cancelled because DFW, my layover airport, was basically shut down due to the storms.) Anyway, it was nice just to dip my toes in the calm(ish) waters of home for a bit. I was able to go back to my roots and remember where I came from and who I can be. Being out here and trying to figure out what I'm doing with my life is pretty scary. Especially because I have to do it on my own. But I have a renewed sense of purpose. I still don't know what I'm doing with my life but I know, in a general sense, what I want to do. It's crazy and confusing and sometimes when other people that you have daily interaction with don't understand why you're doing what you're doing, it makes it worse. But here's what I say to them. You aren't me. I know what I can handle and I have my own personal standards on top of those that I was raised with. Not yours. Don't try to push yours on me. It doesn't make you look very good. In fact, it's annoying and ugly. If you can't embrace the small changes that I'm going through, how can you expect yourself to grow and become a mature person? There are numerous people who these statements are aimed at but over all, I'm going to do what's best for me, what I've decided with the Lord's help, is the path I need to take. You take yours and I'll take mine.
That was something I discovered while at home. That I am me and though others may not like that I'm mature, that I've grown and changed a little because I know more people and have learned from their lives, I can't change who the Lord wants me to be. And that is His Daughter. And you know what? I NEVER would want to change that. I know who I am. Do you? I'm comfortable with change. Are you? Nobody can dictate how you are supposed to act, what you should say or who you should be but you. Don't try to do it for anyone else. (Unless you are a parent...if you are you know what I mean...) We are agents unto ourselves. Our duty is to love others despite their struggles, despite their faults, despite their past. If I may quote Moulin Rouge, "The greatest gift you'll ever learn, if just to love and be loved in return."
That was something I discovered while at home. That I am me and though others may not like that I'm mature, that I've grown and changed a little because I know more people and have learned from their lives, I can't change who the Lord wants me to be. And that is His Daughter. And you know what? I NEVER would want to change that. I know who I am. Do you? I'm comfortable with change. Are you? Nobody can dictate how you are supposed to act, what you should say or who you should be but you. Don't try to do it for anyone else. (Unless you are a parent...if you are you know what I mean...) We are agents unto ourselves. Our duty is to love others despite their struggles, despite their faults, despite their past. If I may quote Moulin Rouge, "The greatest gift you'll ever learn, if just to love and be loved in return."
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Time for a Change.
Yes, it is time for a change. Lately I have been so wrapped up in work that I haven't really spent much time elsewhere. BUT I have decided that that is going to change. Starting today! You see, I wake up usually around 10 but I don't have to leave for work until 12 (noon). I work from 1 until 8:30 and then either go to a friend's house or come home and hang out for a bit and then go to bed. Where do my chores come in? No idea. They get done, it's just that I don't know how exactly The thing that bugs me the most is that I haven't been able to write anything for my book in about 4 months. Gross. I've had so many ideas flowing through me but no program on my computer to write them in! AHH! So now I have random pages in with scenes, ideas, and descriptions that need to be used and no home for them...at the moment anyway. I've decided, however, that I am going to buy the needed program so that I may write. It's a need that I can't explain. If you have characters screaming at you to get their story out and finished, maybe you'd be determined to do so too. It's hard to understand if it's not happening to you. Just trust me when I say that it's amazingly bizarre. Things will change! I pledge that to my characters...I kind of have to.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Too Tight
I think I have a problem.
That's the first step, right? Admitting that you have a problem?
I've noticed it about myself and quite frankly, it makes me sick. It's not a very pleasing quality, at least, not in my eyes.
From this point on I will try to describe, best I know how, to explain to all of you brave readers about my "problem". I do hope you will forgive any nonsensical sentences or attempted explanations.
*Deep Breath*
Here goes.
I hold on to people too tightly. Not in the literal sense, of course, but in the relationship sense. It's not always with everyone, just with people who I have really bizarre connections with. Bizarre in a good way. There have been very few people in my life who meet me and just straight out get me. They understand why I talk the way I do, why I say the things I do, why I react to situations the way I do...they just understand me. And that's before they really know me. THEN comes the all night long conversation, the opening up and spilling deep and troubling past experiences, the full on "I trust you and can't help it" way of thinking. And let me just say that trusting people is hard...really hard for me.
After awhile, the fear kicks in. "Should I really trust them? They haven't done anything not to deserve my trust but should I trust them as much as I do? Do they really want to be around me so much? Why do we hang out so much? Am I a fall-back plan? Am I really all that important to them? Am I as important to them as they are to me? But does it matter? I am comfortable around them, I can be myself around them, I am...me. For once in a long time, I can be me. But are they really okay with 'me' still?" All of these stupid questions build up...and keep building until finally I am so annoyed with the constant battle within that I want to run away from myself. Which can only mean that I am definitely annoying the other person. In fact, by this point I know that the other person is, even if they weren't before. It's a vicious cycle that sucks me down and I know why.
Growing up, kids can be mean. Especially when you aren't necessarily the Belle of The Ball. And that stupid saying..."Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me..." Yeah, well, sorry for all of you who have been able to heal from the brusing of sticks and stones and have 100% happy, selfdoubtless lives, but words do hurt. Whoever said "The pen is mightier than the sword," sure did know what he was talking about.
Everyday I wake up and know that I am blessed to have good friends and a wonderful family and I look for the "good" in the day. I try to be as happy as I can be but eventually the facade has to crack. And it does. Every now and then. I think today, though, it's crumbling and I'm feeling all to vulnerable. I'm reading WAY too into stupid little things and they are bothering me. It's a good thing I only have half a day of work because I don't think I can keep it together for more than a couple more hours.
I'm not sure I've conveyed, my frustranger (yes, that is a new word that I just made up.) but I know that if I keep writing I'm just going to keep thinking about it which won't help. I guess it won't matter, I still want to run away from myself but what can I do? Deal with it, I suppose.
That's the first step, right? Admitting that you have a problem?
I've noticed it about myself and quite frankly, it makes me sick. It's not a very pleasing quality, at least, not in my eyes.
From this point on I will try to describe, best I know how, to explain to all of you brave readers about my "problem". I do hope you will forgive any nonsensical sentences or attempted explanations.
*Deep Breath*
Here goes.
I hold on to people too tightly. Not in the literal sense, of course, but in the relationship sense. It's not always with everyone, just with people who I have really bizarre connections with. Bizarre in a good way. There have been very few people in my life who meet me and just straight out get me. They understand why I talk the way I do, why I say the things I do, why I react to situations the way I do...they just understand me. And that's before they really know me. THEN comes the all night long conversation, the opening up and spilling deep and troubling past experiences, the full on "I trust you and can't help it" way of thinking. And let me just say that trusting people is hard...really hard for me.
After awhile, the fear kicks in. "Should I really trust them? They haven't done anything not to deserve my trust but should I trust them as much as I do? Do they really want to be around me so much? Why do we hang out so much? Am I a fall-back plan? Am I really all that important to them? Am I as important to them as they are to me? But does it matter? I am comfortable around them, I can be myself around them, I am...me. For once in a long time, I can be me. But are they really okay with 'me' still?" All of these stupid questions build up...and keep building until finally I am so annoyed with the constant battle within that I want to run away from myself. Which can only mean that I am definitely annoying the other person. In fact, by this point I know that the other person is, even if they weren't before. It's a vicious cycle that sucks me down and I know why.
Growing up, kids can be mean. Especially when you aren't necessarily the Belle of The Ball. And that stupid saying..."Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me..." Yeah, well, sorry for all of you who have been able to heal from the brusing of sticks and stones and have 100% happy, selfdoubtless lives, but words do hurt. Whoever said "The pen is mightier than the sword," sure did know what he was talking about.
Everyday I wake up and know that I am blessed to have good friends and a wonderful family and I look for the "good" in the day. I try to be as happy as I can be but eventually the facade has to crack. And it does. Every now and then. I think today, though, it's crumbling and I'm feeling all to vulnerable. I'm reading WAY too into stupid little things and they are bothering me. It's a good thing I only have half a day of work because I don't think I can keep it together for more than a couple more hours.
I'm not sure I've conveyed, my frustranger (yes, that is a new word that I just made up.) but I know that if I keep writing I'm just going to keep thinking about it which won't help. I guess it won't matter, I still want to run away from myself but what can I do? Deal with it, I suppose.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Out of Nowhere.
Have you ever experienced those times when someone or something you didn't know you needed just popped into your life out of nowhere? Because as of late, it has happened to me.
I've been so blessed by this individual and I never even knew I needed what's been offered! For example, I have liked a young man in my ward for some time now and so I did the gutsiest thing I've ever done in my life and asked him out. (P.S.-I wanted to hurl the whole time because it was terrifying...) Anyway, he said yes so no worries, right? Hmm, not so much. There is another girl in the ward who likes him too and like every other situation in my life, he likes her back. So anyway, this could have easily been a very upsetting situation if not for my new friend. He was the one who was proud of me, and I mean REALLY proud of me for asking him out. When I told him of the situation, he was the one who helped me to realize that no matter what I did something I'd never done before and if I wasn't the one that this guy picked then A-Oh well, his loss (direct quote) B-It's not worth it and C-It's not the end of the world. Honestly, I can tell everyone reading this that it's not. I'll live and I'm perfectly happy! REALLY! It's so bizarre!
On top of helping me realize that I'm worth more than I ever could've imagined, he holds his standards high, making me reassess my own. What I've never actually FELT before is how someone can see and know the best in me and expect me to be that but if I fail they are there to help me start over again, not scold me or judge me. He makes me want to be a better person. He makes me want to be that for someone else. I never thought in all my life someone like him could just come out of nowhere and be exactly what I needed. What I need. The Lord has truly blessed me...so much.
I've been so blessed by this individual and I never even knew I needed what's been offered! For example, I have liked a young man in my ward for some time now and so I did the gutsiest thing I've ever done in my life and asked him out. (P.S.-I wanted to hurl the whole time because it was terrifying...) Anyway, he said yes so no worries, right? Hmm, not so much. There is another girl in the ward who likes him too and like every other situation in my life, he likes her back. So anyway, this could have easily been a very upsetting situation if not for my new friend. He was the one who was proud of me, and I mean REALLY proud of me for asking him out. When I told him of the situation, he was the one who helped me to realize that no matter what I did something I'd never done before and if I wasn't the one that this guy picked then A-Oh well, his loss (direct quote) B-It's not worth it and C-It's not the end of the world. Honestly, I can tell everyone reading this that it's not. I'll live and I'm perfectly happy! REALLY! It's so bizarre!
On top of helping me realize that I'm worth more than I ever could've imagined, he holds his standards high, making me reassess my own. What I've never actually FELT before is how someone can see and know the best in me and expect me to be that but if I fail they are there to help me start over again, not scold me or judge me. He makes me want to be a better person. He makes me want to be that for someone else. I never thought in all my life someone like him could just come out of nowhere and be exactly what I needed. What I need. The Lord has truly blessed me...so much.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Mistakes.
Every single person in the world makes mistakes. You can claim to be perfect and fault free all you want but you aren't. No one is. That's just life. Which is fine. Or should be.
I'm just a little agitated, is all. I am human, which by default means that I make mistakes. And this is me we're talking about here so I make mistakes on top of being clumsy. Anyway, something has happened today that I am very very irritated about.
Earlier in the day, I was reprimanded. That's fine. I made a mistake and owned up to it, therefor it's only right that I be reprimanded for it. Yeah, well, pretend the following situation (which is not what happened to me but is equally as ridiculous.)
Situation: You get up to go get a drink from the kitchen after working long and hard on an essay or whatever. Anyway, you know that you should plug your computer into its power source but you think you'll be fine in the few seconds it takes to get a glass of water. Unfortunately that isn't the case. When you get back you find that your computer is dead and you can't remember if you saved that draft or not. STOP. Okay, right here is where most people's heart would skip a beat or stop all together. CONTINUE So frantically you fumble for the power cord and wait impatiently for your computer to re-upload and all that jazz. As soon as you are able to get back into that Word document you are there and to your RELIEF the wonderful piece of technology that is in you lap had "Auto-Recovered" your work. Hallelujah.
Okay, so like I mentioned earlier. You made the mistake of not plugging in your computer when you should've but miracles or miracles, it recovered itself. For anyone to be mad at you for not plugging in the computer on time is in a way, right. Especially if it was their essay or whatever. But because of the self back up system it shouldn't be a bigger deal for more than a few moments. My point is that no ones mistakes should be aired and re-aired and re-re-aired and rubbed in the persons face over and over and over again. It's not fair and quite frankly not nice. No matter who you are you should chill out and realize that people make mistakes.
In my situation I forgot to do something. Something that has a backup system to it. That's not any kind of justificationfor myself, no, but it would've been okay. But of course there was no mercy from my superior. I was treated like I just murdered someone. I was reprimanded (yet again, fair...) and then whenever someone came in or left..."Don't forget to do such and such which Caitlin forgets to do." Or "Hey, you did such and such right? Because you don't want to be as forgetful as Caitlin." It's rubbed in my face over and over again and I'm upset about it. I already know that I'm really imperfect but is it really necessary to make mention of my imperfections to ever single person in the office? Personally I think not but my superior finds it absolutely hilarious. For me it's plain humiliating and degrading. But what can I do? Ha. Nothing but write a stupid blog and be upset about it and ignore my superior as much as possible, drawing as little attention to myself as possible. UHG....that's my rant for the day.
I'm just a little agitated, is all. I am human, which by default means that I make mistakes. And this is me we're talking about here so I make mistakes on top of being clumsy. Anyway, something has happened today that I am very very irritated about.
Earlier in the day, I was reprimanded. That's fine. I made a mistake and owned up to it, therefor it's only right that I be reprimanded for it. Yeah, well, pretend the following situation (which is not what happened to me but is equally as ridiculous.)
Situation: You get up to go get a drink from the kitchen after working long and hard on an essay or whatever. Anyway, you know that you should plug your computer into its power source but you think you'll be fine in the few seconds it takes to get a glass of water. Unfortunately that isn't the case. When you get back you find that your computer is dead and you can't remember if you saved that draft or not. STOP. Okay, right here is where most people's heart would skip a beat or stop all together. CONTINUE So frantically you fumble for the power cord and wait impatiently for your computer to re-upload and all that jazz. As soon as you are able to get back into that Word document you are there and to your RELIEF the wonderful piece of technology that is in you lap had "Auto-Recovered" your work. Hallelujah.
Okay, so like I mentioned earlier. You made the mistake of not plugging in your computer when you should've but miracles or miracles, it recovered itself. For anyone to be mad at you for not plugging in the computer on time is in a way, right. Especially if it was their essay or whatever. But because of the self back up system it shouldn't be a bigger deal for more than a few moments. My point is that no ones mistakes should be aired and re-aired and re-re-aired and rubbed in the persons face over and over and over again. It's not fair and quite frankly not nice. No matter who you are you should chill out and realize that people make mistakes.
In my situation I forgot to do something. Something that has a backup system to it. That's not any kind of justificationfor myself, no, but it would've been okay. But of course there was no mercy from my superior. I was treated like I just murdered someone. I was reprimanded (yet again, fair...) and then whenever someone came in or left..."Don't forget to do such and such which Caitlin forgets to do." Or "Hey, you did such and such right? Because you don't want to be as forgetful as Caitlin." It's rubbed in my face over and over again and I'm upset about it. I already know that I'm really imperfect but is it really necessary to make mention of my imperfections to ever single person in the office? Personally I think not but my superior finds it absolutely hilarious. For me it's plain humiliating and degrading. But what can I do? Ha. Nothing but write a stupid blog and be upset about it and ignore my superior as much as possible, drawing as little attention to myself as possible. UHG....that's my rant for the day.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Wheels On The Bus Go Round and Round
When I woke up today I decided that I would make myself have a good day. After all it is a decision that each of us make, to be happy, and I decided to make it. Anyway, I prepared myself for the day: showering, picking out what to wear, eating breakfast, all that jazz, and then I headed out for the bus.
Now some of the people that I have daily contact with know how much I detest having to go to the bus stop an hour and a half before my scheduled time to work. It drives me insane but because 99% of the time the buses aren't on time, it's kind of mandatory. Well, surprise of all surprises, both of my buses were on time today. Which resulted in me being forty minutes early to work. That was a bit odd, but no big deal really, I just played Solitaire until I could clock in.
Rewinding back to bus one. When I got on the bus this morning, I was delightfully surprised by dozens of little kindergardeners. My guess is that they were headed up to BYU to take a tour or see a play or something but theses little kids (with the supervision on their teachers and some parents) talked about how cool the bus was and how excited they were to go to BYU. In fact, when we got close enough to see building, one little boy squealed, "Look! I see it! It's a Y!" I couldn't help but smile. These kids were very well behaved and so cute. It was just a little something that made my day start on a nicer foot.
Of course, I could only take a bit of that happiness with me when they all exited the bus at the BYU stop but just that little bit is enough for now.
It's nice to have a pocketful of happiness when you're trying to have a good day. When you've decided to have a good day. Why? Because the adversary will stop at nothing to ensure that you don't have a good day. When you have a pocketfull of happiness, you can tap into it when the little things start to pile up into big ones. Just remember that.
Now some of the people that I have daily contact with know how much I detest having to go to the bus stop an hour and a half before my scheduled time to work. It drives me insane but because 99% of the time the buses aren't on time, it's kind of mandatory. Well, surprise of all surprises, both of my buses were on time today. Which resulted in me being forty minutes early to work. That was a bit odd, but no big deal really, I just played Solitaire until I could clock in.
Rewinding back to bus one. When I got on the bus this morning, I was delightfully surprised by dozens of little kindergardeners. My guess is that they were headed up to BYU to take a tour or see a play or something but theses little kids (with the supervision on their teachers and some parents) talked about how cool the bus was and how excited they were to go to BYU. In fact, when we got close enough to see building, one little boy squealed, "Look! I see it! It's a Y!" I couldn't help but smile. These kids were very well behaved and so cute. It was just a little something that made my day start on a nicer foot.
Of course, I could only take a bit of that happiness with me when they all exited the bus at the BYU stop but just that little bit is enough for now.
It's nice to have a pocketful of happiness when you're trying to have a good day. When you've decided to have a good day. Why? Because the adversary will stop at nothing to ensure that you don't have a good day. When you have a pocketfull of happiness, you can tap into it when the little things start to pile up into big ones. Just remember that.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Bittersweet Goodbyes
Well, it's that time. The end of the normal school year. Yes, the Spring and Summer terms still remain and I know they'll be fun but it's weird having the people around you leave. Usually I'm the one doing the leaving.
I know college is full of those common comings and goings and I know that I'll probably have a few different roommates but let me just say that I couldn't have asked for a better first semester. I will never forget the crazy, sad, angry, weird, fun, happy, and just plain wonderful times I've had this first semester. I love my roommates to death. They really do raise me up. I would also like to mention those friends that surprise you. There's never a dull moment with them and while sometimes you wonder if the two of you really are friends, you know there's no escaping the truth. I'm going to miss you a lot Dan. I know we've had our times but you mean a lot to me. I wish you the absolute best!Anyway, this is just a little video I made tonight...It means a lot to me. I hope you can feel how much I feel for these girls.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
What A Difference Nice People Make...
I've started my new job here at Vision Security and let me just say that I love it. I'm being trained by an awesome girl, Aubrey, who has so much patience with me. We've been doing calls over and over again and she doesn't expect me to get it all right on the first try. As scary as it is (scary because I just don't want to mess up) I'm having so much fun. Blake, another trainee is really awesome to.It's basically just a fun and relaxed atmosphere where work and fun become one word...like...Wun or Fork...haha. It's fabulous and I LOVE IT! Have I mentioned that?
Anyway, I am having a lot of fun. My boss, Scott, rocks. I feel like I can approach him when I need to. Which is something I've never really experienced with previous bosses. I just can't get over the wonderful feeling that working here brings! Cheesy, I know, but I really like it. A lot. And I have a feeling that this summer is going to ROCK! I am very excited.
Anyway, I am having a lot of fun. My boss, Scott, rocks. I feel like I can approach him when I need to. Which is something I've never really experienced with previous bosses. I just can't get over the wonderful feeling that working here brings! Cheesy, I know, but I really like it. A lot. And I have a feeling that this summer is going to ROCK! I am very excited.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Words, The Spirit and Lion House Bread
What are words? Letters that we throw together to form meaning. Then there are sentences, what silly little things. We throw those newly formed words together to make a sentence which usually has a meaning, whether sad, happy, apologetic, angry, nervous or other. If we're intelligent enough, we take those tricky little sentences and smoosh them together to create paragraphs which could become short stories, Biology Essays, Novels, newspaper articles, and other such intelligent creations.
I am one is who is not abnormally gifted with words. I can't beautifully orchestrate a symphony of words as well as most. This will be the second, and I'm sure not last, reference to "You've Got Mail." In that movie the main character, Kathleen Kelly, states that she wishes that when confronted with an irritating situation she could say exactly what she wanted and how she wanted to exactly when she wanted to. Unfortunately I tend to fall into this category, at least with intelligent things that I wish I could say, when I wanted to say them. It's not the most enjoyable trait to behold, if anything it traps me in the "Wow, I sound like an idiot..." category. What can I say? (No pun intended.)
Anyway, moving on, I wanted to expound on the phenomena that is General Conference. I was blessed enough to be able to attend both Sunday A.M and P.M sessions. For the A.M session, I stood in the stand-by line with my dear dear friend Ellen. I love her to itsy bitsy pieces, she's amazing. So we stood in the somewhat cold air for about an hour and a half and then when we finally started moving, I think my body forgot my feet existed. A word to the wise, DO NOT and I repeat, DO NOT wear stiletto shoes to conference. Suck it up and wear the comfortable shoes, trust me. I should've known...Moving on, we actually had tickets for the second session. It was great, we were only about 30 rows from the front! Far enough away that I wasn't in perfect sight of them but close enough that I didn't have to squint or watch any of the screens. It was wonderful and I must admit that I suggest everyone takes the opportunity to actually go to General Conference, but you can feel the same Spirit anywhere you listen to it, so long as you actually listen. It was just amazing and I don't think I've ever gotten so much out of conference before. For those of you who have made it this far through the blog and are wondering, "Well, who was your favorite speaker!?" my answer is Elder Jeffery R. Holland. That man is an Apostle of the Lord without a doubt. I understand the Atonement much more than I have before and I know that it is true. I really enjoy whenever President Monson speaks though, because I feel as though I'm listening to an endearing and guiding grandfather. There is so much love from the General Authorities...you can't deny it! And if I can feel that loved by them, I can't imagine the overwhelming love that the Lord has for me!
Salt Lake City. What a place. Don't think I'd ever want to live there exactly but Temple Square is so beautiful. Especially after conference because they've planted a lot of flowers and such. I had the opportunity today to go again! Ellen, who came to visit for Conference, all the way from My Ol' Kentucky Home and Paul (another friend who's home is Everywhere, USA and China) and myself all took off after my class this morning and walked around for awhile before Ellen's flight. Though I've seen Temple Square and I've been able to experience the things you do at Temple Square, I got to do it a second time with a new bunch of people. (Bunch apparently translates to two now...hm.) It was amazing. BUT! The thing I did this time, that I didn't get to do LAST time was get Lion House rolls. MMM MMM! Let me tell you know, that if you EVER go to Temple Square, EAT THE ROLLS! Haha, that sounds like..well, anyway... They are delectable. And then when you come home and heat them up? HOLY COW! YUM!
So basically my weekend was a bad (or good depending on your definition) episode of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly...but it happens and life goes on.
My last little bit...somewhat like a "P.S." is this: Home Teachers are seriously the most amazing idea ever. And mine rock my world. I am so grateful for their worthiness to hold the true priesthood of the Lord. To my Home Teachers, thank you for your patience. Thank you for your love and dedication. I love you both. You are amazing.
I am one is who is not abnormally gifted with words. I can't beautifully orchestrate a symphony of words as well as most. This will be the second, and I'm sure not last, reference to "You've Got Mail." In that movie the main character, Kathleen Kelly, states that she wishes that when confronted with an irritating situation she could say exactly what she wanted and how she wanted to exactly when she wanted to. Unfortunately I tend to fall into this category, at least with intelligent things that I wish I could say, when I wanted to say them. It's not the most enjoyable trait to behold, if anything it traps me in the "Wow, I sound like an idiot..." category. What can I say? (No pun intended.)
Anyway, moving on, I wanted to expound on the phenomena that is General Conference. I was blessed enough to be able to attend both Sunday A.M and P.M sessions. For the A.M session, I stood in the stand-by line with my dear dear friend Ellen. I love her to itsy bitsy pieces, she's amazing. So we stood in the somewhat cold air for about an hour and a half and then when we finally started moving, I think my body forgot my feet existed. A word to the wise, DO NOT and I repeat, DO NOT wear stiletto shoes to conference. Suck it up and wear the comfortable shoes, trust me. I should've known...Moving on, we actually had tickets for the second session. It was great, we were only about 30 rows from the front! Far enough away that I wasn't in perfect sight of them but close enough that I didn't have to squint or watch any of the screens. It was wonderful and I must admit that I suggest everyone takes the opportunity to actually go to General Conference, but you can feel the same Spirit anywhere you listen to it, so long as you actually listen. It was just amazing and I don't think I've ever gotten so much out of conference before. For those of you who have made it this far through the blog and are wondering, "Well, who was your favorite speaker!?" my answer is Elder Jeffery R. Holland. That man is an Apostle of the Lord without a doubt. I understand the Atonement much more than I have before and I know that it is true. I really enjoy whenever President Monson speaks though, because I feel as though I'm listening to an endearing and guiding grandfather. There is so much love from the General Authorities...you can't deny it! And if I can feel that loved by them, I can't imagine the overwhelming love that the Lord has for me!
Salt Lake City. What a place. Don't think I'd ever want to live there exactly but Temple Square is so beautiful. Especially after conference because they've planted a lot of flowers and such. I had the opportunity today to go again! Ellen, who came to visit for Conference, all the way from My Ol' Kentucky Home and Paul (another friend who's home is Everywhere, USA and China) and myself all took off after my class this morning and walked around for awhile before Ellen's flight. Though I've seen Temple Square and I've been able to experience the things you do at Temple Square, I got to do it a second time with a new bunch of people. (Bunch apparently translates to two now...hm.) It was amazing. BUT! The thing I did this time, that I didn't get to do LAST time was get Lion House rolls. MMM MMM! Let me tell you know, that if you EVER go to Temple Square, EAT THE ROLLS! Haha, that sounds like..well, anyway... They are delectable. And then when you come home and heat them up? HOLY COW! YUM!
So basically my weekend was a bad (or good depending on your definition) episode of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly...but it happens and life goes on.
My last little bit...somewhat like a "P.S." is this: Home Teachers are seriously the most amazing idea ever. And mine rock my world. I am so grateful for their worthiness to hold the true priesthood of the Lord. To my Home Teachers, thank you for your patience. Thank you for your love and dedication. I love you both. You are amazing.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Crazy Jealous.
And I don't like it! I mean, yeah jealousy is a natural tendency but this is just ridiculous.
How can I explain this without it seeming like something...more? Let me give it a shot...
Okay so, I have never felt so...possessive? Is that a good enough word? Sure...possessive over anyone or anything as my best friend. Who happens to be a BOY! (Insert *gasp* here!) Whatever. Anyway, today I ran across a picture that when I saw it I wanted to puke. It was so weird. I couldn't believe myself. In fact, I reprimanded myself for it. It wasn't even one of his pictures! It was a cartoon picture that his sister had "tagged" on Facebook. An animation of the Twilight characters...those that have "significant others". Yeah, well, she had tagged him as one guy and some girl, whom I don't know, who is probably a very nice, pretty and smart girl, as the match to that guy. Yeah, okay, so I'm ridiculous, you don't have to tell me, I already know, but when I saw that I got..uncomfortable! HOW SILLY! I seriously am laughing at myself right now but the sad part about it is that I'm laughing because I still feel not right about it! Great, right?
Never before have I ever EVER felt so insanely jealous. And for what? A NAME! HA! I'm actually shocked with myself. It's a bizarre feeling but what can I do? It won't go away. So silly..so silly.
How can I explain this without it seeming like something...more? Let me give it a shot...
Okay so, I have never felt so...possessive? Is that a good enough word? Sure...possessive over anyone or anything as my best friend. Who happens to be a BOY! (Insert *gasp* here!) Whatever. Anyway, today I ran across a picture that when I saw it I wanted to puke. It was so weird. I couldn't believe myself. In fact, I reprimanded myself for it. It wasn't even one of his pictures! It was a cartoon picture that his sister had "tagged" on Facebook. An animation of the Twilight characters...those that have "significant others". Yeah, well, she had tagged him as one guy and some girl, whom I don't know, who is probably a very nice, pretty and smart girl, as the match to that guy. Yeah, okay, so I'm ridiculous, you don't have to tell me, I already know, but when I saw that I got..uncomfortable! HOW SILLY! I seriously am laughing at myself right now but the sad part about it is that I'm laughing because I still feel not right about it! Great, right?
Never before have I ever EVER felt so insanely jealous. And for what? A NAME! HA! I'm actually shocked with myself. It's a bizarre feeling but what can I do? It won't go away. So silly..so silly.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
The Manti Temple
Temples are wonderful things. I can't explain how grateful I am for them! This morning my ward (The BYU 73rd Ward) was privileged to take a trip to the Manti Temple. Let me tell you what! That temple is so beautiful. So unique from any other temple I've been inside of. Granted I've only been inside of the Baptistery in any given temple but it was so beautiful! SO BEAUTIFUL! I loved it. It was definately an explerience to hold onto. Anyway, I wanted to post some pictures of my trip. I love the temples.
Speaking of temples, I was able to see the Draper Temple Dedication last Sunday in the Marriot Center which was amazing. During the Hosanna Shout everything was WHITE. There was just such a sweet spirit there...I loved it so much.
The Manti Temple is temple number six that I have been to. My goal is at least 50...we'll see what happens!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Lead Me Through
I'm standing at a crossroads
Not sure which path to choose
I feel so lost and tired
Can't see beyond my place
Then suddenly I know
I never am alone
So I kneel and pray to you
Take my hand
And walk this road beside me
Take the lead
When darkness clouds my view
Father, I've put all my trust in you
Lead me through
Lead me through
When life has overcome me
And I am filled with fear
My heart begins to break
And tears begin to fall
Then suddenly I know
I never am alone
So I kneel and pray to you
Take my hand
And walk this road beside me
Take the lead
When darkness clouds my view
Father, I've put all my trust in you
Lead me through
Lead me through
Take my hand
And help me find thy light
Take the lead
And guide me safely home
Father, I've put all my trust in you
I know if I am true
You'll lead me safely home
Lead me through
Lead me through
It was in my head one night and wouldn't let me sleep until it was all written down. I fixed it during church the next day.
Not sure which path to choose
I feel so lost and tired
Can't see beyond my place
Then suddenly I know
I never am alone
So I kneel and pray to you
Take my hand
And walk this road beside me
Take the lead
When darkness clouds my view
Father, I've put all my trust in you
Lead me through
Lead me through
When life has overcome me
And I am filled with fear
My heart begins to break
And tears begin to fall
Then suddenly I know
I never am alone
So I kneel and pray to you
Take my hand
And walk this road beside me
Take the lead
When darkness clouds my view
Father, I've put all my trust in you
Lead me through
Lead me through
Take my hand
And help me find thy light
Take the lead
And guide me safely home
Father, I've put all my trust in you
I know if I am true
You'll lead me safely home
Lead me through
Lead me through
It was in my head one night and wouldn't let me sleep until it was all written down. I fixed it during church the next day.
Monday, March 23, 2009
What A Weekend!
It was pretty wonderful. Friday night I wore myself out. It was great. Here I'll give you the low down...
Friday:I got up at 7:00am to get to my 8:00 class on time. Which I ALWAYS get there on time. The lecture, however, wasn't all that exciting. But anyway, I got home, took about a 30 minute snoozer and when I got up I cleaned the apartment a bit, made my bed and ate some breakfast. A little later I went to Wally World with a couple of wonderful friends and we got pedicures. It was GREAT! Then we went to lunch at this place called Rumbi. YUM! Then I came home and took another little snoozer but it really was only about 5 minutes. Later that evening I ate some dinner and then I went Classic Skating with my ward which was at 10:00p.m. Yeah, kind of late BUT it was SOOO much fun. I even won this little glowy thingy...Anyway, we got back around 12:30a.m. and my roomie, who is usually pretty calm and collected, was BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS! I mean literally CRAZY. Bad case of Pizza and Kool-Aid mixture. I mean so bad it was fatal. The proof is in the pictures. Anyway, we decided that a dance party was appropriate...so my roomies and I all danced until 2. It was crazy! Crazy FUN! lol. Oooh. College.
Saturday:I woke up around 11:00 to an empty apartment. I was so out of it from the night/morning before. Needless to say my legs were sending serious hate vibes through the rest of me. But I got up, took a shower and got ready for the day. I ate and did a little bit of facecbooking and kinda just lazied around until about 1:20ish when me and my roomate went to the International Cinema up on campus. FREE MOVIES! Yeah, it's pretty fabulous. We saw Henry Poole Was Here...it's really good. Different but good. So then I came home and started writing a bit of my book. Well, I was interrupted by a call from Karlan who was trying to get all the date details together. Sadly I left my book and started really cleaning the apartment. Fun. Fast Forward to the date...Okay so my roomie's soon to be sister-in-law set us up. The guy I went on a date with...his name was Tarren. I think that's how you spell it. Anyway, it was fun. We all made pizzas. We went to the store and bought topping that we wanted. Tarren and I got hashbrowns, sausage and alfredo sauce. It was surprisingly tasty. OH! We also had honey roasted peanuts on top. Yum. It was different but YUMMY! Anywho, then the four couples played 'Get to know you Uno." Red-You tell an embarrassing moment Blue-Something you don't like Yellow-Something you DO like Green-Random. You play just like regular uno except when you discard you tell whatever you have to according to the color of the card you discarded. Draw 2 or 4 means that the person who has to pick up cards tells that number of whatever the draw color was. It's really a fun game. Then we all chatted for a little and decided to play Sardines. I basically won. lol. After that the date was over. It was a fun night but I probably wouldn't go on a second date with the guy. He just wasn't my type.
Sunday: Woke up, got ready for church, went to church, came home, went to the Draper Temple Dedication in the Marriot center which is just about the coolest thing to witness. You can see everyone! So when we were doing the Hosanna shout, everything was white. IT WAS SO COOL! It really was just an awesome thing to see. I wish everyone could have been there. After that I came home, made some rolls and went to a little pot luck dinner my roomies had with some friends. Good food is never a bad time. lol. Then choir, and ward prayer. Then bed.
So that was my weekend. Very very cool.
Friday:I got up at 7:00am to get to my 8:00 class on time. Which I ALWAYS get there on time. The lecture, however, wasn't all that exciting. But anyway, I got home, took about a 30 minute snoozer and when I got up I cleaned the apartment a bit, made my bed and ate some breakfast. A little later I went to Wally World with a couple of wonderful friends and we got pedicures. It was GREAT! Then we went to lunch at this place called Rumbi. YUM! Then I came home and took another little snoozer but it really was only about 5 minutes. Later that evening I ate some dinner and then I went Classic Skating with my ward which was at 10:00p.m. Yeah, kind of late BUT it was SOOO much fun. I even won this little glowy thingy...Anyway, we got back around 12:30a.m. and my roomie, who is usually pretty calm and collected, was BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS! I mean literally CRAZY. Bad case of Pizza and Kool-Aid mixture. I mean so bad it was fatal. The proof is in the pictures. Anyway, we decided that a dance party was appropriate...so my roomies and I all danced until 2. It was crazy! Crazy FUN! lol. Oooh. College.
Saturday:I woke up around 11:00 to an empty apartment. I was so out of it from the night/morning before. Needless to say my legs were sending serious hate vibes through the rest of me. But I got up, took a shower and got ready for the day. I ate and did a little bit of facecbooking and kinda just lazied around until about 1:20ish when me and my roomate went to the International Cinema up on campus. FREE MOVIES! Yeah, it's pretty fabulous. We saw Henry Poole Was Here...it's really good. Different but good. So then I came home and started writing a bit of my book. Well, I was interrupted by a call from Karlan who was trying to get all the date details together. Sadly I left my book and started really cleaning the apartment. Fun. Fast Forward to the date...Okay so my roomie's soon to be sister-in-law set us up. The guy I went on a date with...his name was Tarren. I think that's how you spell it. Anyway, it was fun. We all made pizzas. We went to the store and bought topping that we wanted. Tarren and I got hashbrowns, sausage and alfredo sauce. It was surprisingly tasty. OH! We also had honey roasted peanuts on top. Yum. It was different but YUMMY! Anywho, then the four couples played 'Get to know you Uno." Red-You tell an embarrassing moment Blue-Something you don't like Yellow-Something you DO like Green-Random. You play just like regular uno except when you discard you tell whatever you have to according to the color of the card you discarded. Draw 2 or 4 means that the person who has to pick up cards tells that number of whatever the draw color was. It's really a fun game. Then we all chatted for a little and decided to play Sardines. I basically won. lol. After that the date was over. It was a fun night but I probably wouldn't go on a second date with the guy. He just wasn't my type.
Sunday: Woke up, got ready for church, went to church, came home, went to the Draper Temple Dedication in the Marriot center which is just about the coolest thing to witness. You can see everyone! So when we were doing the Hosanna shout, everything was white. IT WAS SO COOL! It really was just an awesome thing to see. I wish everyone could have been there. After that I came home, made some rolls and went to a little pot luck dinner my roomies had with some friends. Good food is never a bad time. lol. Then choir, and ward prayer. Then bed.
So that was my weekend. Very very cool.
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