Trying to make everything work, trying to grow up and learn to live with roommates while juggling a job, school, a boyfriend and a calling at church...things can get a little hectic. I think one of my flaws, among many, is that I forget the little things and too often those little, daily things are so very important for happiness, sanity and spiritual well-being. Today I was struggling. I want a break. I can't wait for finals to be over, I don't want to go to work, I'm trying to be patient and rational in regards to my personal life but I'm not perfect. Today I think I just snapped and instead of turning to the scriptures for healing, I just shut off. I watched a movie and fell asleep. I got cranky when my roommate came in with a friend and they were being loud. I pittered around my apartment looking for things to eat and ended up eating pizza and oreos. What a great way to feel good about yourself, just plop down on the couch with some good ol' reality TV and veg on junk food. NOT. And anyone who knows what my health issues have been lately will know that the afore mentioned choice of sustenance only made me feel worse because it screwed up my tummy. Anyway, I was tired, apathetic and lazy. I just couldn't snap out of it so I said a prayer and began to read my scriptures. Numb. Completely numb and shut off I began to read my scriptures-in John 14- when I felt prompted to turn to the Doctrine and Covenants. Now, normally I don't get those "scriptures-fall-open-to-mind-blowing-passage" moments. It is rare for me but as I flipped to the D&C it fell open to Section 98. Verses 1-3 were already underlined. They are as follows:
1 Verily I say unto you my friends, fear not, let your hearts be comforted; yea, rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks;
2 Waiting patiently on the Lord, for your prayers have entered into the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth, and are recorded with this seal and testament—the Lord hath sworn and decreed that they shall be granted.
3 Therefore, he giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my name’s glory, saith the Lord.
As I read these verses a FLOOD of emotions came over me. I felt free from the lazy, apathetic, tired nothingness and wanted to work, play, laugh, cry...The Lord will turn all of our uncertainties and heartaches and fears for our good if we let Him. We have to go to Him and ask Him to, He won't take away our agency even if it so that He can bless us.
