If you've been on my Facebook in the last couple of days, you'll have seen that I
re-posted this article.
I admit that my comment on my re-post was a bit dramatic. The whole "natural" thing being shoved down my throat, I mean. Perhaps I should clarify by telling you two short stories (immensely "cliff noted") that will help you understand why I feel as though my throat has been violated. ;)
Story 1: A few friends and I were out to dinner at a rather cozy restaurant. Next to us, at a small table a young lady informed her companions that she would be having a baby. Exciting, right? Of course! But then her mother? aunt? hopped right in and asked how she would deliver. When her reply was, "I'm not sure yet, I need to read some more," the mother/aunt lady quickly informed her that natural was the only way to ensure a healthy baby and that everyone in the family did it that way so she shouldn't go against their wishes. (They continued to have a semi-quiet debate about doctors' impotence, children's future, medical bills etc.)
Hmm. Okay, I don't know this family and maybe they have really good luck with natural births. But something I didn't appreciate (again, it didn't happen to me so I'm projecting emotions, I realize this) was that this young lady didn't even give a definitive answer and showed that it was something to her that was worth the researching. A very diplomatic answer that received a very close minded (or maybe just passionate) answer. Perhaps her mother/aunt could have said, "Well, if you'd like some good research on Natural Birth, I can help you out." Why would that have been so wrong?
Story 2: This did happen to me, and I work at BYU, the ever dynamic BYU, and even though I love my school and the people, there are some individuals who take things too far and believe that if they don't say something, their fellow saints may fall off the straight and narrow. I have actually learned to take abrasive comments with gratitude because I realize that most of these people are genuinely concerned about me, even if their comments are...awkward? Rude?
I was helping a very brand new mother at the window (she was picking up documents for insurance purposes or something along those lines). Because I am curious and have begun my own research and study into natural vs. not, I politely (I hope I was polite, anyway) asked how she delivered. She kind of lit up and told me all about her hospital, OBGYN aided, epidural birth. She said, and I quote, "I waited as long as I could and before it was too late to take the epidural. I wanted to see if maybe I'd be able to go without it but I decided, in the end, to take it." (I did ask about this particular part of the experience, she didn't just give it freely.) I thought that was pretty cool. She wanted to try but didn't have any issues with taking the epidural. She wasn't scared into an epidural or pressured into a natural labor. She chose. Cool. Before she left she said, "If I can give you any advice it would be this, research, study, make a choice and then pray. The Lord will help you decide what is right for you and give you the strength to do it." She left and I was super excited to continue my own research. There was a pregnant young lady-can't escape 'em, I love it though- standing behind her in line and she came up to the window. I proceeded to help her. She asked me if she could give me her advice on having a baby. Of course!! And then this, "You may think that epidurals are okay but it's poison. God didn't give meds to Eve so no real woman would think that it was okay to take them."
She wasn't saying any of this in a rude manner, so to speak, just very matter-of-factly and I like to think that she was just very passionate about it rather than wanting to judge any and every woman who ever had an epidural but that kind of stuck with me. And also kind of crushed my enthusiasm for researching. Before I move on though I do want to say this. The Eve comment she made...I know plenty of women who say "How many years in this world did women bear naturally?" And that encourages them to do it too! KUDOS! I think that's amazing but I also find modern medicine amazing. I have many health problems that, if I lived 100+ years ago, I would not have the same opportunity at life. So, Eve did it and you want to too? SO COOL but please don't knock modern medicines or at least the people who use them. Cancer has existed for a long too but modern medicines have aided people's chances at life. (Haha, I just compared cancer to pregnancy...)
Please, take a moment with me to stop and think. I understand that these were very different situations, very extreme cases but hear me out. I, Caitlin, who has never had a baby and am not yet pregnant but who is planning on having children and researching my options, do not yet felt that I have found "the way" for me in regards to child labor. Is that wrong? No, it's not because I'm still piecing to together the puzzles. But you want to know what I have found so far? Neither way is perfect. Neither way ensures the baby's safest delivery. There are pros and cons to both. I've also learned that I know a great many deal of people who want to go natural and those who don't. Out of those many people, I only know a couple (from opposing views actually-and they have told me straight out) that are not okay with the opposite view. Which, I understand. They don't have to be okay with it for them but, truth be told, it is okay for many many other people.
I realize that I read and understood the article, perhaps, differently than others. I sincerely apologize if by posting that article and sharing my opinion offended or hurt you or made you think I was judging you. I hope that this post has maybe cleared up my hastily written opinion. In summary, I have no strong opinions regarding which type of labor is right for me and I'm not unlearned enough to think that one way is "right" and the other is not-as I've said I see pros and cons to both- but I do have a strong opinion about judging those who have made their decision. As it is with when and how many children you decide to have, the decision belongs to the Husband, Wife and God. Everybody else just needs to butt out and chill out. Stop judging, plain and simple.
Please feel free to leave a comment expressing your ideas and passions just be aware that if any judgements-no matter how small-are made against people (in general or not) from either opinion or if a rude debate ensues, your comment(s) will be removed. This is a no judging zone, please. If you have some simple and kind advice OR places that I could go or books that I could read for some research PLEASE leave me the details. I would love to make a most educated decision for my someday pregnancies/deliveries.
