Dear Friend

The world is harsh, it lies, it lies
But you're not lost to life.
There are those here who care, dear friend
The tide will soon release you.

Hold onto the sun, it shines, it shines
For those lost on their way.
You're never to far gone, dear friend
The light will always guide you.

My ears are here, they listen, they listen
For your words of sorrow.
And nothing you could say, dear friend
Will vanish me tomorrow.

My arms are here, they comfort, they comfort
If you will only let them.
For darkness is unkind, dear friend
But you are never alone.

My heart is here, it hurts, it hurts
With every pain you're feeling.
It slows, it quickens, it beats, dear friend
For the life that you are living.

The world is harsh, it lies, it lies
But you're not lost to life.
For I am here and care, dear friend
My love will never release you.

There's No Place Like Home.

Though the past weekend was quite busy I did get to spend it at home. Not here in Provo. Although my five day trip was shortened to a four day trip, I still got to go home. Although I had to come back to Provo, back to the boring thing known as my life, I did get to have a vacation at HOME! It was wonderful. I got to spend some time with my family and my friends. I couldn't have asked for a better vacation. Okay, that one day more would've been nice but I can't change that. (My flight home on Thursday was cancelled because DFW, my layover airport, was basically shut down due to the storms.) Anyway, it was nice just to dip my toes in the calm(ish) waters of home for a bit. I was able to go back to my roots and remember where I came from and who I can be. Being out here and trying to figure out what I'm doing with my life is pretty scary. Especially because I have to do it on my own. But I have a renewed sense of purpose. I still don't know what I'm doing with my life but I know, in a general sense, what I want to do. It's crazy and confusing and sometimes when other people that you have daily interaction with don't understand why you're doing what you're doing, it makes it worse. But here's what I say to them. You aren't me. I know what I can handle and I have my own personal standards on top of those that I was raised with. Not yours. Don't try to push yours on me. It doesn't make you look very good. In fact, it's annoying and ugly. If you can't embrace the small changes that I'm going through, how can you expect yourself to grow and become a mature person? There are numerous people who these statements are aimed at but over all, I'm going to do what's best for me, what I've decided with the Lord's help, is the path I need to take. You take yours and I'll take mine.
That was something I discovered while at home. That I am me and though others may not like that I'm mature, that I've grown and changed a little because I know more people and have learned from their lives, I can't change who the Lord wants me to be. And that is His Daughter. And you know what? I NEVER would want to change that. I know who I am. Do you? I'm comfortable with change. Are you? Nobody can dictate how you are supposed to act, what you should say or who you should be but you. Don't try to do it for anyone else. (Unless you are a parent...if you are you know what I mean...) We are agents unto ourselves. Our duty is to love others despite their struggles, despite their faults, despite their past. If I may quote Moulin Rouge, "The greatest gift you'll ever learn, if just to love and be loved in return."

Time for a Change.

Yes, it is time for a change. Lately I have been so wrapped up in work that I haven't really spent much time elsewhere. BUT I have decided that that is going to change. Starting today! You see, I wake up usually around 10 but I don't have to leave for work until 12 (noon). I work from 1 until 8:30 and then either go to a friend's house or come home and hang out for a bit and then go to bed. Where do my chores come in? No idea. They get done, it's just that I don't know how exactly The thing that bugs me the most is that I haven't been able to write anything for my book in about 4 months. Gross. I've had so many ideas flowing through me but no program on my computer to write them in! AHH! So now I have random pages in with scenes, ideas, and descriptions that need to be used and no home for them...at the moment anyway. I've decided, however, that I am going to buy the needed program so that I may write. It's a need that I can't explain. If you have characters screaming at you to get their story out and finished, maybe you'd be determined to do so too. It's hard to understand if it's not happening to you. Just trust me when I say that it's amazingly bizarre. Things will change! I pledge that to my characters...I kind of have to.