Do you ever feel like you're trapped between logic and emotion? I find myself stuck, hands tied, feet chained, almost every time I try something...oh I don't know, future related? Yes, that seems to be it. The scariest thing is that I'm a planner. I plan what I'm going to wear and eat. I plan what classes I expect to be taking a few semesters in advance. I own a planner and it is very full of organizational...things. LOL.
Though I'm an organized person, I can never seem to store enough emotional back up for those rainy days, which come and completely shut me down. I'm just never prepared for the complete shut down that courses through me. So I go into my "shell", cracked and falling apart though it may be.
My escape, however, is singing. The one thing I've never let myself fail in. Ha, I'm not perfect, no. I just feel that singing is the only thing I have, the only link, to hold me to reality. It's the only life line I have sometimes. Yet, recently, I've had this...hole. A nagging of sorts, like I'm not doing it enough, though I do it almost everyday. It's almost as though there is another part missing. I love singing duets but I'm just fine singing solo...usually. Lately, my melody just seems so...blah. (Which is why I'm excited for Conference tomorrow and Sunday.)
Anyway, I'm not sure what the purpose of this was really. Feel free to pick it apart if so desire. Meanwhile Ill be singing and dancing solo, in the spotlight, enjoying it but going crazy trying to figure out what it is that's missing.
P.S.-If you find it, please let me know.
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