It's weird what time can do to people. It weird what mistakes stick out from your past the most, reminding you that you don't want to repeat that specific one ever, by accident or otherwise. Something like my inexplicable capability to just automatically trust someone (something like their innocent until proven guilty). Then there is my over imaginative mind. I think up all these grand plans and schemes and when something doesn't happen how I think it should I
get discouraged but I also know that the way I dream things up belong in some movie or book, none of it is ever really made for the real world. But sometimes, just every now and then I wish that I could have a little taste of fiction in this non-fiction world. And why not? Every girl deserves to feel like Cinderella when the Prince finally finds her at some point in their life. But I want a Prince Charming and not a Dud. It's only natural to want that. So, instead of moping around and cursing the heavens for only making it okay to lose your slipper at a ball in a fairytale story and not in real life, I decided to do something about it. Wear my heart on my sleeve, be myself, take whatever comes. And so I have. But with that comes the times where you put yourself out there and get shot down like a duck on that old Nintendo game. But I suppose what doesn't kill you makes you... Each time something like that happens I know in which ways to guard myself better without putting my "heart" anywhere but my sleeve. You see those girls everywhere where all they have to do is a flip of the hair and a smile and voi la-presto chango- Abra kadabra (take your pick) they have a tall dark and handsome by their side. HAHA, don't get me wrong, I'm sure their great guys but why is it that almost every guy goes for that? The whole "look at me I'm beautiful but have absolutely no personality!" or the "I am pretty and have a personality but it's nothing that should attract you!" Okay, so maybe I'm being a bit harsh but UHG! Somebody GAG ME, please!
Maybe I should clarify the purpose of this blog. There are two. One is to relieve my frustration and ramble away as though everyone cares about what I have to say and the second is to maybe get an answer as to why people are so desperate to have a "somebody" that they throw themselves at "anybody"!? I'm single and will stay that way until I find someone with a personality that fits mine, someone who cares about me because I'm important to them not because being in a relationship is important to them. Someone who can look at me and see the most beautiful girl ever, regardless of what I look like. I feel bad for those people who have to be in a relationship to feel good about themselves or to feel like they are needed. You can't be happy in relationship until you're happy single. It's very very true.
So I like someone, he is new and from what I have experienced about him very nice and worth getting to know more. This is where I will make my own luck and if it's meant to be it will happen, if not, I will move on, just like anybody else should. Heck, I may want a Prince Charming but I'm going to fight for the right one. I deserve the best. You wont see me settling any time soon for just anybody. No sir.
I LOVE you Caitlin Andersen. You are so right in your thinking!! Be happy being single because if you go after someone who you're settling for and it ends up not working out (and it won't) then you're right back to where you were to start with! He'll come along soon enough and when he does I can personally say he will be beyond lucky and blessed to have you! Did I mention I LOVE you?! ;)
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