Have there ever been times where you just knew something was...off. That something in the cosmos was throwing everything off balance but you had no proof? You could just feel it...that the storm was coming...not unlike a cat.
Well, that's how I feel.
I'm not sure what it is and maybe it's just me being ridiculous but I can't shake the feeling that something...hmm...it's kind of like how Miss Clavel from Madeline always knows "Something is not right!" Even when she has no proof. Call me Miss Clavel. Only I wish I could just run up the stairs to fix the problem. But I don't even know where to go. What to do.
Again I'll say that I have no proof, just sheer instinct. It's eating away at me and it has been for the past few weeks. The silly thing is that I don't have any issues with anyone.
I've ironed things out with...someone I had a miscommunication with, I have no problems with my roomies, I'm a little irked with my younger sister but she's halfway across the country right now so no big deal, I am totally cool with my class, my sisters who live here are fine...It's mind boggling.
It almost feels like it's someone else who has a problem with me but...who? And why? Granted...I'm not perfect and someone could easily have a problem with me but who? If it's someone I love and who loves me, why wouldn't they have just confronted me about it? Because I've felt this way for about an entire week. I think that's plenty of time...right?
You see, I'm not the kind of person who gets ticked just because someone confronts me about something and I don't like it. No, I am 95% of the time completely calm and willing to work on whatever it is, if I can help it. What irritates me is when someone waits. What makes that worse is tha, inevitably, like all of us, we HAVE to talk to SOMEONE. Sadly, too many of us talk to the wrong someone. We don't want to offend anyone, we don't want to create a big dramatic mess, I know I usually just want it all to go away. But that's not how it works. We get scared so we talk to other people when the person we SHOULD be talking to...well...we don't until it's been a week or two.
So many issues could be solved with communication. I'm a FIRM believer in that. The thing that sucks about all of this? I don't really KNOW if someone has a problem. Something just feels wrong. I would love for this to all be in my head, but then again, there's a bigger stronger part of me that knows SOMETHING is up...and I may be the last to know which is the worst.
okay... so when ever I get these feelings... I look past the small stuff and start focusing on the big picture. Is the Lord preparing me for something? A new calling? New Job? Did something bad happen to my mom or dad? Was I supposed to be doing something but i'm not... did I miss an inspiration somewhere...? Am I misunderstanding a class or a teacher? Is my grade lower than I think it is? All these things come into play. i'm like a warrior on a mission. i completely search out every possible avenue until i find the source. I talk to everyone like my teachers/ parents/ friends... everyone.. and I say the same thing over and over... "Something's not right.. I don't know what it is, but something's not right." And as funny as this sounds.. it may just be someone you're connected spiritually to, one of your best, best friends who lives a million miles away or right next door--and you're picking up their vibes. Something is definitely NOT right with them, and the Lord is allowing discernment to help you fix it or cheer them by sending a little gift or something.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, you might be surprised that it has nothing to do with you at all... and everything to do with something that's going on around you! LOL! Ok i'll stop typing now, this has really turned into a novel! Jenni