Coming Undone.

This week as been filled with nothing but emotional lows. Stress has taken on a new definition in my life. The worst part about it all? I've let that be an excuse for something else I hate.
Hypocrisy.
I wrote that contention was something I hated. It's true, but I want to add that I'm not perfect. I get wrapped up in stupid arguments. I made ridiculous accusations and hurt people I love...even though I may have only known them for awhile. I don't care what was hurt, feelings, pride...anything. If I caused that pain...It's hard for me. People have been telling me not to mope around, not to feel so bad. To let it go. But, as bad as it is, that's not my nature. I wish I could. I wish that I could just say "It's all good!" and believe it but I can't.
I think perhaps because I hate contention, even the littlest bit, it makes it harder for me to handle. I avoid it as much as possible, meaning I don't have to go through damage control to fix it, which also means that I'm not good at it when I have to.
This isn't the end of the world. I know that. But I value my friendships way too much to just say, "Okay, this happens. It'll blow over." I hate feeling like there are things left undone, unsaid.
No, I shouldn't mope but I can't just let go of the fact that I hurt someone.
So I'm sorry.
To anyone I have hurt. I truly am.