"D" is for Dreams

I have dreams. I have always had BIG dreams.

(The "I've Got A Dream" Song from Tangled is now playing in my head...

And now "I Have A Dream" from Mamma Mia is there...

it's a weird combination of songs.)

When I was little I used to want to be an actress in Hollywood.

Then it was an actress on Broadway.

Then my dream job became: Director extraordinaire.

Hollywood or Broadway.

It didn't matter.

I'm in school now to become a Stage Manager. I'm absolutely in LOVE with my major

which is so great because I never thought I'd be able to

settle on anything I'd actually enjoy.

Although I love my major and plan to get a degree, and have loved how

my dreams have led me on to bigger and better dreams, and I know that

secretly I'll always wonder what it would be like to be

a famous actress in Hollywood,

I've realized what my true dream really is.

My true dream is this:

I want to be the best mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend as I can possibly be.

I know that might seem strange to a lot of people, especially nowadays, but

it's what I really, truly want.

"Mother":

Too many women in this day and age have no desire to be mothers.

This makes me so sad.

It makes me wonder if they really understand how unique and wonderful being a mother is.

Now, I'm not a mother. I'm not even a wife but I have a mother. I also have a sister who is a mother and I know that they would tell anyone the same thing:

Being a mother is one of the greatest gifts that God has given to women.

In my mind it is one of the most selfless things a woman can do in her lifetime.

When the time comes, I will be more than happy to become a mother.

"Wife":

Well, even though I feel as far from this as A is from Z

(no looping of the alphabet people)

I know it'll happen some day.

I can't wait to be so in love at the beginning that we don't care that we live in the smallest, dingiest apartment in town. I can't wait to be in love and realize that we should probably work as hard as we can to make ends meet. Honestly, I know love isn't a Fairytale.

I know that it's not all butterflies and lollipops.

And honestly, I can't wait for the reality of love.

Plenty of people tell me that marriage is hard, love is hard, love is disappointing.
(Honestly, it drives me nuts when they do because when they do they're trying to discourage me from wanting this dream.) BUT this is my philosophy:

Love is easy. Marriage is easy. WE complicate it by being selfish, uncommunicative and impatient. Love cannot disappoint us, only we can disappoint love.

"Daughter":

Well, let's face it. I was not the best daughter for my parents but I know

that I've grown up. A lot. I don't think this one needs a whole lot of explanation.

"Sister":

I have five sisters, and last night I was able to have dinner with two of them.

After dinner we reminisced about the "good ol' days". How we fought,

how we laughed, how we were raised, how we teased, etc.

Though I've realized it way before last night, something about our conversation hit me in

a way that it had never it me before.

I have not always tried my hardest to be a good sister.

I know how to push your buttons and I can be a Bratty McBrat Face.

But I still love my sisters, even when I don't feel like they care about me.

But we all have bad days, no?

Eventually, hopefully sooner rather than later, I hope to be able to

be the best sister that I possibly can be.

"Friend":

Ok. This is the hardest one of all. Why? Because it is a constant struggle.

I get impatient. I get emotional. I distance myself. And then at the end of the day, I'm just a normal person. I love to love people. Really, I do. But on the reverse side of that it's easy for me to dismiss someone if they seem to have no interest in being my friend. It's bad, I know, but I'm working on myself. The person I am now is much different than the person I was two years ago. I'm proud of myself for that but I still have to work on being much better.

I have a long way to go before I am a candidate for the "Best Friend of the Year" award.

Anyway, I know that these are "goals" and not necessarily "dreams" but to me I think they're the same thing, after all they serve the same purpose!

I hope all of you can find your dream today. Dreams are great!