My Lament.

To be honest, and objectivly so, I have to say that I am no size two 5'10" super model with sweeping blonde hair and eyes that just scream, "You know I look gorgeous and can't deny it." Nope. I'm 5'5" somewhat curvatious and I have straight, red (yes, it's dyed...so sue me!) shoulder length hair and regular brown eyes that don't really scream much of anything. I'm struggling to pay my way through college and I don't have a lot of extra time on my hands to just lie around and work on my "tan". Not that it would be much of one anyway (I'm the girl who really should've been born a red head due to my freckled, pale skin.) I'd basically just become a lobster. I'm not a very good dancer, therfore my "grace" is somewhat...misplaced. I'm not a very talented writer. I don't cook or bake well...at all. School isn't really my thing..acedemically that is, and I'm not very good at sports
However, I am outgoing, I care about people, I can sing, I can act. And in fact, I feel like all of my faults and imperfections are trumped by the things that I AM good at. Things that I CAN do.
So let me ask one question. Why is it that so many people feel that they have the right to look at me, without knowing me, and make a snap decision on WHO I am, what I'm capable of, of ME? I just don't get it! It's lame.
Though I'm comfortable, 90% of the time, with who I am and what I look like, it's still hard and it still takes a toll on my confidence when someone just won't let up on the fact that I'm not that sexy super model previously mentioned. I mean, let's get real here, I'll never be that tall...or thin, EVER and I'm okay with that but that doesn't make it any easier sometimes. Especially when you have constant reminders drowning you. (Like the fact that you are single and though you've been set up on dates with some really nice people they've all decided that 'you just aren't their...'type'") Somebody gag me, please.
Now please don't think that I'm ever going to waste time or tears over someone who can't see me for who and what I am. No thank you, I'm much smarter than that. They aren't worth fighting for or even giving the slightest notion to. Go your way and find your type (though shallow it may be) and I'll go mine and actually find (hopefully...someday) a relationship that is deep and meaningful. I know, I'm just serving cliches here but it's true. Yet, somehow it still gets under my skin. Why is that?!
It seriously makes me so frustrangry! (Yes, my made up word has made its second appearance.)
So there you go. My Lament. Though futile my attemps may be to convey just how annoyed I am, I've tried. Sorry , Yoda, today, there is only trying.