Bend As Far As You Have To, Just Don't Break.

In the words of my Father, "Just don't break. If you break the world will have to deal with TWO OF YOU!!!" No worries my dear friends, I will not break. Not only for my sanity but for yours as well.

Life lately has been a roller coaster. Being tired for two weeks straight and not feeling like I'm doing anything right has taken such a toll on me. I have been going and going and going, trying to keep up with my social life, trying to stay on top of homework, trying to be a patient roommate, trying to be a grateful daughter, trying to get enough sleep, trying to keep my body from falling apart, trying to serve as much as I can...it takes its toll.

People often ask, "How are you?" When you respond, "Okay" they seem to go into I-must-fix-this-mode. I love all of my dear friends but to be honest, sometimes you just can't help me. Sometimes I just have to fix it myself...with the help of the Lord, of course.

Don't you worry about me! I'm not going to break. In fact, I'm so much stronger than that. The Lord is on my side. I just need to ride the wave for a bit. To calm your worried hearts, here are some picture of what I've been up to lately.

The Hundred Dresses:

Please note: I am smiling in all of those pictures!!!

Musical Love :)

I'm obsessed with these songs right now. It's just plain FABULOUS!

I LOVE THESE SONGS!!

Pinterest, New Hair and 100 Dresses

This semester has been absolutely BONKERS and it's only week 3! This is fine though. I actually like that I always have something to be doing and that most of the time it has to do with my major, which is (drum roll please) STAGE MANAGEMENT! Hooray! I love it. I get to be in the Theatre 18+ hours a week and the show that I'm on the production team for is the BYU traveling troupe: Young Company. This semester we are producing The Hundred Dresses based on the book by Eleanor Estes. It is simply adorable. Everyone should go see it.

I've discovered that on one version of the Meyers-Briggs test I am a 50/50 split blue and orange which explains SO MUCH. Ridiculous I tell you. I'd explain but it would take too long. Just know that I learned a whole heck of a lot about myself. It was cool.

Now, what is Pinterest, you ask? Well! It's this fabulous little website where you can type in anything you want (just about) and you will find pictures, tutorials, how-to's, ideas, websites and other such shenanigans. I am OBSESSED! I love all the cute and easy DIY crafts I've found and can't wait to do them. ALL of them! And I've found super easy recipes that I am SUPER pumped to start making. Pinterest is fabulous and I love it.

Today I got a hair cut and dyed my hair. Nothing drastic though, I just got more shape added and I did a DIY at home hair dye job. It's still red. :) (Don't worry, Alisa!) I'm in love with the polished look and once I get a moment I will get some pics up.

Speaking of pics my roommates and I are having our annual roomie pics taken tomorrow so that will be my "BIG" post of the week possibly next week! I'm so excited. We found a good spot and our photographer is a good friend of mine and I'm so excited for her to take the pics!!

A Promise

I have promised myself that by the end of the week I will have a new blog post. (A real one, not a fake on announcing that I will have a new post soon.) It'll be big and fun. There's lots to write about!

American Heritage

I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I enjoy reading about the Founding Fathers' struggle with creating an effective government or writing a constitution. I'm grateful for their sacrifices, knowing they were great and had more than just a "positive effect" on the United States and I'm grateful that I have the opportunity to live in a Nation where freedom of speech, press and religion are among other things at my disposal. However, I am NOT and I repeat NOT happy that I am forced to take a class that hides under the guise of "American Heritage" when it's proper and more correct title should be "American Politics and Why Most People Hate Learning About History." When a reading packet costs more than the textbook for a class, you know you're in trouble. Now, don't get me wrong I've enjoyed the readings so far, I really, honest to goodness, have! BUT I am struggling to see where the parallel between the readings and the lectures lies. I have to write an essay about any opinion I have on the subject of any of the following subjects.

1. Government action invariably means a loss of individual liberty.

2. When designing a government (or writing a constitution), you should never make

optimistic assumptions about human nature.

3. An individual can achieve the greatest freedom only when bound to a community.

4. Inequality is a natural condition of human society, not a reason for government

intervention.

But, of course, I can't write an essay on my true and honest opinion. I DON'T CARE! I really don't and I know that that is a sad position but I hate political arguments because no matter what, no one will ever be right! I mean, I don't like to be wrong but why in the heck would I write a paper on something that I can't prove to be right! EVER! Someone will always prove me wrong and in this ever changing world even when something is factually "right" it won't be for more than a week. (At least that is my experience with politics...Carl is probably dying right now, Alisa, make sure he doesn't get too worked up about this. ;)) I don't like debating opinion. I think it's stupid and pointless because you can't prove that one opinion is right and one is wrong (hence the definition of "opinion") in my mind it's just an excuse to argue and I think that that breeds contention and according to 3 Nephi 11:29, "...contention is not of me (God) but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another." So forgive me if I chose not to contend.

Patience.

It's really hard for me.

I hate being patient.

I'm a control freak and a perfectionist and I like to know what is going on at all times.

Unfortunately, the Lord knows that I have a problem with patience and therefore is always testing me to see if I've gotten any better.

Lately, I have been trying really hard but I think I've been scoring closer to C's than A's but I'm getting better. I'm just not doing as well as I would like to be. This is a problem because then I start to be hard on myself and then I loose the confidence to do better and start slipping in other areas of my life. It's a constant battle but I'm not backing down.

I will learn how to be more patient and to trust the Lord with my life.

He has bigger and better plans for me and I just need to trust that.

I will learn patience if it is the last thing I do!

Mash Up for a Perfect Emotion

Sometimes in life you get hurt. It happens and life goes on. I'm one of those people who finds solace in music. I love listening to music that a friend of mine calls "angry girl music" if I'm mad about the situation but then I feel bad because I know how emotions can run high and how sometimes you get caught up in something that you know can't and won't last so then I listen to the "I'm-hurt-but-I-don't-blame-you" music. But then I feel like I have every right to be upset, maybe not angry but still upset so I listen to the "I'm-going-to-be-fine-but-please-don't-talk-to-me-for-awhile" music. BUT THEN I think, "Good grief! I'm so much better than this moping crap! Put on your big girl panties and get over it!" There is a genre of music for this too. I call it the, "It's-alright-I'm-stronger-than-weakness" music.

A couple weeks ago I went through this rather emotional roller coaster ride. I don't regret it, I learned a lot from it but I wish maybe I had been a little wiser in my decision making. I also wish I had been stronger than to give myself false hope. (A mistake I don't often make...) Anyway, I've been listening to all my "relationship music genres" lately and realized that I wish I could take certain lines from a bunch of different songs to make one mega-mash-up song that could appropriately sum up all the emotions. Here is my attempt to do so.

"When you see my face hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell,"

-Gives You Hell, All-American Rejects

"So so what I'm still a rock star I've got my rock moves and I don't need you,"

-So What, Pink

"You know fairy tales don't come true, not when it comes to you,"

-Sick of You, Selena Gomez

"I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough, I'm like forget you,"

-Forget You, Cee lo Green

"Next time I'll be braver I'll be my own savior...No I won't let you close enough to hurt me,"

-Turning Tables, Adele

"Who do you think you are? Runnin' 'round leaving scars collecting your jar of hearts tearing love apart."

-Jar Of Hearts, Christina Perri

"I'm telling you baby, it's called Karma"

-Karma, Julie Andrew

"Nevermind I'll find someone like you, I wish nothing but the best for you,"

-Someone Like You, Adele

"I don't want mudslinging games, it's just a shame to let you walk away,"

-Ashes and Wine, A Fine Frenzy

"You and me always between the lines,"

-Between The Lines, Sara Bareilles

"We could've had it all rollin' in the deep,"

-Rollin' In The Deep, Adele

"How many times will it take for me to get it right?"

-Get it Right, Glee

"One of these days I'll wake up from this bad dream I'm dreaming. One of these days I'll pray that I'll be over, over, over you."

-Ghost of You, Selena Gomez

"He and I had something beautiful but so dysfunctional, it couldn't last,"

-Near to You, A Fine Frenzy

"I let you go now that I found a way to keep somehow more than a broken vow,"

-Broken Vow, Josh Groban

"One less man to pick up after, I should be happy but all I do is cry,"

-One Less Bell To Answer, Glee Cast Version

"Should've known you'd bring me heartache almost lovers always do,"

-Almost Lover, A Fine Frenzy

"The game is on again, a lover or a friend? A big thing or a small the winner takes it all,"

-The Winner Takes It All, ABBA

"Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in,"

-Because of You, Kelly Clarkson

"You paint me a blue sky then go back and turn it to rain,"

-Dear John, Taylor Swift

"You told me you loved me so why did you go away?"

-Last Kiss, Taylor Swift

"Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I'm only falling apart,"

-Total Eclipse of the Heart, Bonnie Tyler

"But it's been so long, it's never easy it's like trying to spin the world the other way,"

-What Can I Say, Carrie Underwood

"I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long, I'm moving on,"

-Moving On, Rascal Flatts

"It's alright I'll be fine, don't worry about this heart of mine,"

-Leave the Pieces, The Wreckers

"Now all our memories are haunted, we were always meant to say goodbye,"

-Already Gone, Kelly Clarkson

"But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you this is what I have to do,"

-Where I Stood, Missy Higgins

"Make your own kind of music sing your own special song,"

-Make Your Own Kind of Music, The Mamas & the Papas

"Smile though your heart is aching, smile even though it's breaking."

-Smile, Nat King Cole

"Don't give up, because you are loved."

-Don't Give Up, Josh Groban

"There can be miracles when you believe. Though hope is frail it's hard to kill."

-When You Believe, Prince of Egypt

"Don't stop believing hold on to that feeling,"

-Don't Stop Believing, Journey

"Live like there's no tomorrow, love like it's all that we know,"

-Like There's No Tomorrow, Selena Gomez

"Hauka Matata"

-Hakuna Matata, The Lion King

"I have a dream, a song to sing, to help me cope with anything."

-I Have a Dream, ABBA

So this is definitely not a comprehensive list of songs I listen to but it works. For now.