Just Some Thoughts...

You know how in the movies there are times when a character says, "It's been so long since I've dated...I don't even know how to anymore!" I was thinking about this today. Not with a "pity me" sort of attitude but just a very pensive one. I thought about how I feel like that sometimes. I seriously haven't dated anyone in over 2 and a half years. In fact, I haven't been on anymore than three dates. It made me worry that whenever it is that I finally do start dating again, whenever that happens to be, I'll be awkward and won't know how to just be me. I mean, it's easy to be you with yourself and I know who I am but with someone else who you want to impress but aren't trying to impress? Will it just be that easy to be myself? Thoughts?

Live In The Present...

Living in the present can be hard sometimes. We think about our future careers and families, we think about "how life will be better once I'm not swimming in student loans, when I have a better job, after I graduate in three years." But then there are moments when all you want is to stay right here, right now for as long as you possibly can. This weekend was one of those weekends. Though I didn't get much sleep and I was hardly at rest for more than 15 minutes on any given day, I learned what it was to live in the present.

Alisa and Carl graduated, I was able to go support them.

I went on a road trip with one of my bestest friends in the whole world! (Yes, I used 'bestest').

I stood under the wide-open Idaho sky and stared at the clear, sparkling stars and thought about how beautiful this world is if you just stop and look around.

I think the thing that was best about this weekend was that I was able to spend time with my best friends. Alisa and Erin. There was a conversation that we all had about connections and how we connect with certain people in deep ways. It's funny, you know? There are certain people in your life that you know will always have no matter what, no matter where we move, how close or far we live to one another, missions, internships, graduations, babies, etc. they will always be there. The three of us will definitely be friends forever.

Clearly. :)

I Love To See The Temple...

I went last night to the temple and I can't say how much I love being there. I know that the Gospel is true and that in quiet moments in the temple you can receive the peace, comfort and direction that you desire. If you can go to the temple, go. There is no greater feeling in the world than to feel his loving arms around you as you dwell there.

This is a beautiful talk. I love it. Enjoy.

Learn from the Past...

Do you ever have days that just don't go your way? Days that kind of smack you in the face and then all of a sudden you're on the ground and you don't really know all the events that led you there? Yes, I do too. Yesterday was one of them. But not for nothing. Let me explain.

There are moments in my life that I look back on and feel guilty about. I look back and think, "Thank Heavens I am not the same person." I look back and cringe at how stubborn, proud, angry and hurt I was over this particular circumstance. I look back and wish I could've changed the way I handled the situation. I think the hardest thing about it all is that it didn't just effect me. I hurt someone else in the process, someone I cared about very much...and, admittedly, still care for. But nothing comes from living in the past, only learning from it. I just hope that I'm not too late to make things better again. So, why was yesterday so hard? Because those feelings were brought back to the surface in a very blunt way. I won't go into details just know it wasn't easy to look back and see how awful I had been.

But you know what? I am so happy that I can look back on my life and say, "Thank heavens I am not the same girl I was two years ago" because in all honesty I am so much better for it. If a person can't look back on their life and see change, growth, mistakes then they haven't grown up, matured and learned much, if anything. I'm not perfect and I do have things in my past that I regret but I have learned. I have grown up, I'm still growing up. There's nothing wrong with that.

In all reality, I have changed. It's been painful and scary but I wouldn't want to be the same person I was two and a half years ago! So while learning from the past is hard sometimes, I'm so happy that I have.

So true, So true.

Praying

I don't think I've ever prayed so hard in my lifetime! AHHH!

This is very scary.

Harry Potter...Tears, Fears and Goodbyes

*This Post does in fact include spoilers from The Harry Potter Series, if you have not read the books or seen the movies and wish to keep the element of surprise, please do not continue reading.*

I just finished watching the live stream of the World Premiere of

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part Two. I was completely caught off guard by how emotional I was at seeing all of the actors, producers, directors, and even JK Rowling herself. Emma's "farewell" speech brought the tears to my eyes and then Rupert's sent them aflowin'. But when JK stood at that microphone and thanked everyone, me included, I lost it.

It's funny, you know? You grow up always knowing that Harry and his friends will always be there. That when you want to escape from whatever you want to escape from, you can pick up any Harry Potter book and you're immediately transported to Hogwarts and all of the adventures that Hogwarts has to offer. Now we have 7 phenomenal books of this spectacular series as well as 8 films beautifully done to bring the books to life. So, even though this is the end-as in no more "new" material will be written or filmed for our Harry-Potter-Lovin'-Hearts to look forward to as J.K. Rowling said today, "Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home."

Reflecting upon my ridiculously silly emotional state, I realized why this is such a big big BIG deal to me. Some would say that this post should have been posted in 2007 when The Deathly Hallows was published. That was the real ending, no? No. not to me. By that time those of us who followed the films still had a LOT to look forward to, it still wasn't quite done. So, why am I emotional? Why does this matter? Why am I such a baby?

Because I grew up with Harry, Ron and Hermione.

When Sirius died, I cried.

When Fred died, I bawled.

When Harry got the Firebolt, I was so excited to fly with him.

When Ron saved Harry from the Dursley's in his dad's flying car, I fell in love.

When Dobby was killed by Belatrix, I was mad and sad.

I was afraid of Bellatrix.

I plotted against Umbridge.

I cheered with the other Griffindors when we won the house cup.

etc.etc.etc.

I did all of those things because I was there, transported by the words, details and descriptions that J.K. Rowling so meticulously and brilliantly crafted.

When I first picked up a copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, I was 11. I literally grew up with Harry, Ron and Hermione. It's hard to believe that it's over. But only kind of over because the story, the books and Hogwarts will always be there. Harry Potter will never die. It's all around us especially now with all of the theme parks, tours, t-shirts, pictures and memories that have been born because of it.

So, if there is one thing I could say to J.K. Rowling, it would be this:

Thank you. Thank you for sharing your brilliance with the world. Harry Potter's story may be done and we may cry as we say our goodbyes and wonder what will happen in the future but Harry Potter is never, ever, gone.