I Don't But I Do

I don't have pretty blue or green eyes. 

I don't have a slender, athletic, "powerhouse" body. 

By the time I graduate with my undergrad, I will have been in school for 6 years,

(The time it takes most people to do an undergrad and a masters...) and I've already been told that it "doesn't count" because I'm "just" graduating from BYU, so "who cares?"

I don't own a fancy car. 

I don't own "in fashion" clothes. 

I am extremely self conscious about my weight and sometimes feel like an elephant among swans. 

Sometimes I'm so nervous about being perceived as ridiculous or silly or stupid that I suppress who I am and can't get comfortable around certain people.  

Often times I think I am the only one who cares about what I care about. 

I'm often fairly certain that I am the last person on peoples' "Care About" list. 

I struggle. I cry. Sometimes I avoid mirrors so I don't have to look at me.

BUT

I do have a wonderful husband who loves me no matter what I look like or how comfortable or uncomfortable I feel in my skin. He likes my brown eyes.

I have a job where I help so many people. I may not be a nurse, a fighter pilot or a child care specialist but I certainly do good and help people. 

At least I have a car! One that I don't have to make payments on, one that works, one that is reliable...most of the time.

I will graduate from BYU and I will have worked hard (I am currently) and it will count.

I have clothes. They aren't the cutest but I have a wide variety to choose from.

I have learned that if people look at me and only see an elephant, they aren't worth my time. 

I run. I may not run far or fast but I run and I am grateful that I have a body that is capable of doing that. 

In moments when I think nobody cares, I realize that it's not up to them to care. It's up to me to care. 

I have come to learn, through the help of my husband, that it is okay to cry, okay to not understand and okay to not be okay.

I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and I love Him. He knows me and my needs and if everyone else in this world left me, He would still be by my side.