A Presidential Valentine's Day

This year Valentine's Day was a rather Presidential affair. 

Neil and I celebrated it on February 20th-President's Day-because on the "real" Valentine's Day, Neil was working hard to be ready for his Sophomore Piano Recital which was on the 18th. 

It was an excellent recital!
 He has worked so hard on it and it really showed. 

Anyway...Valentine's Day. 

It was GREAT! Here is what we did:

First we exchanged "Valentines"

I gave him this:

We don't have many pictures of us so his mom helped me be sneaky and get some pictures. He had no idea that it wasn't her idea to take the pictures! SNEAKY!

One night awhile back we had some  Gummy Bears from Europe. These are my favorite  foreign gummies and  I wanted to share them with him. SO I gave him a note that said, "I Love You 'Beary' Much!" I know. I'm cute. ;)

He gave me this:

Not this exact one but now I can steam my veggies instead of just warming them up in the microwave! YAY!

AND He gave me this:

HOBBY LOBBY GIFT CARD! Oh how I love that store!! I'm so excited for my next craft! (Whatever that may be...)

Then we had/made lunch together. Chicken avocado sandwiches with grapes and carrots. YUMMO. 

(No pictures of this...I know! It's horrific that I didn't take any.)

Then, I wasn't feeling all that great (I had a headache. TOTALLY from going to bed at 2am and getting up at 7am...bad idea.) So Neil did the dishes and his homework while I took a nap. Then when I woke up, I did my homework and he took a nap. (I know, exciting right? But it was just nice to be together.)

Then Neil woke up! YAY! We decided at that point that it was time to play so we went out into the parking lot and roped a calf. No, not a real one! A wood one! Neil is really very good at it. Me? Eh, I'm learning. But regardless of how well either one of us did it was a lot of fun. 

After that we came inside and started making dinner. This Pizza was SO GOOD! And it was a lot of fun to make, too. Neil is very handy in the kitchen. Okay, he's handy everywhere but he can definitely hold his own in the kitchen. 

This is our Pesto Pizza:

(It looks like his arm is resting on the Pizza. No worries! It's not! You can also see the strainer he bought me!)

It was so so so so SO YUMMY!!

After dinner we watched a movie. Sleepless in Seattle to be exact. It was really a nice day. I got to be with Neil and he didn't have to worry about getting in rehearsal hours or getting a whole lot of homework done. Just us, having fun and being together.

 Best. Day. EVER!

 He's a keeper. For sure!

Choices

"All we have to do is to decide what to do with the time given to us."

-Gandalf

We all have choices to make but none of us are ever left alone to do so. I've made a choice and I love my decision. I've prayed, I've fasted, I've pondered and I've acted upon the promptings that the Lord has given me and I know I am where I am supposed to be, who I am supposed to be and with the person I am supposed to be with. 


I like this song a LOT. Enjoy. 

Confessions of a Shopaholic

Blog #2 of the night? Why the heck not?!

(All my midterms are finished!)

Anyway, lately I did something kind of crazy. I know! Me? Something crazy? But really folks. Really. 

Okay, so you all know how much I love to SHOP! I love clothes and shoes and jewelry and Mary Kay products and all that jazz but when I first moved out here to Utah three years ago I didn't really have a whole lot of money. 

What I did have was a plastic little card with a "free" money on it. 

Yes, a credit card. That devilish plastic enemy to the financially ignorant. (aka ME)

Needless to say, that thing was maxed out in no time at all. 

Since then, I have realized the error of my ways. In all seriousness though, I have. It is way too tempting to have money that totally isn't really mine. It didn't do anything for my confidence and it didn't really help me in the financial area of my life, no matter how much I told myself it did. 

A movie came out awhile back (2009) titled "Confessions of a Shopaholic" and it was quite inspiring. 

I decided right after I saw it (in late 2009) that the credit card thing was a bad idea because I didn't know what I was doing with it. 

The inspiration, however, just wasn't enough. Still, my card remained maxed out. No plan was made to overcome my immaturity, ignorance and irresponsibility. I'd pay off a bit here and there just to turn around and use it again. 

DUMB. 

Then this past year (2011-November 20th to be exact) I started dating this really awesome guy. (I've mentioned him before.) I realized that I didn't feel comfortable knowing that I had this credit card debt. Forget about the fact that I had just started dating him. I immediately felt like I needed to revamp my financial life. There were way too many "what if" questions that began popping into my head that I just couldn't quiet. 

This guy (whom I love and who is the most wonderful person EVER) initiated a new chapter in my life and I knew right then that it was time to change. 

After writing down my plan I started off on a journey to financial maturity. Ironically I'm in a class right now that focuses on building and enhancing Marriages and Family Relationships. In this class we discussed heavily that unnecessary debt is a major breaking point for relationships. 

Well, if that little message (from the Lord, I believe) didn't light the fire under my booty I don't know what would have!

I decided that it was time to act. I filed my taxes and waited patiently (ha) for my refund to come rolling in. 

And wouldn't you know it? My computer decided to start to die. It has issues staying on, even while plugged in. It doesn't save info when I tell it to, the screen won't light up when it isn't plugged in, it makes this scary noise when I turn it on and off, it won't let me run iTunes...the list goes on. 

I was tempted, just ask Neil, to jump on the opportunity to buy a new laptop. I planned out when I'd buy it and which one I'd buy. I was so excited and then something hit me. That number. The number of dollars I still had to pay to get this credit card out of my life. 

I had a choice. 

Buy a computer or get out of debt. 

I decided to put on my big girl panties, put my trust in the Lord (can you say those two things in the same sentence??) and do it. 

I PAID OFF MY CREDIT CARD DEBT. ALL OF IT.

Not only that but I closed the card and the bank account associated with it. Twenty-Two years old, you'd think that this wouldn't be a big deal but it is to me. It has been a long time coming and I feel a lot more confident not only in my ability to manage my finances but in my relationship, in my plan to save more than spend...I feel like a better version of me.

Three years, lots of money and one fantastic eye-opening experience later, I am credit card debt free. 

I feel free. I really do. 

Obsessed.

There are very few things in life that I am "obsessed" with. Like...very very few. As of late I have been in love with polka dots, like the one in this picture:

(Picture is thanks to Neil's Mom! She's a fantastic photographer!)

Another thing I have been in love with is SLEEP! I haven't been feeling well lately but the one time I feel better is when I'm sleeping...or with Neil. (I think the second is much more psychological than rational...) Anyway. Sleep is fantastic but only in proper proportions. (As I mentioned as part of my Sunday School lesson this last week.) Moving on...

It's no secret to my close friends that I am "obsessed" with my skin. I have tried SO MANY different creams, lotions, washes, masks, moisturizers etc. Nothing seemed to really work. Yeah, they'd keep my skin clean or moisturized but what about those dang pesky zits? I only get one or two here and there every now and again but it seems like they last FOREVER. My zits are the kind that tend to form under the skin and not really come to a head-so popping is out of the question. (Gross, I know but let's admit it friends, we ALL get zits. Girls and boys alike.) So after a lot of spending, testing and disappointment I discovered something  that I never thought would happen. I am obsessed with Mary Kay skin care. 

I KNOW. 

ME?! The girl who thought Mary Kay was just a stupid company who charged WAY TOO MUCH for the products. BUT I tried it a year ago and my skin has never felt better. Within seven days, my zits have almost disappeared. I have the following products:

Night and Day Solution, Face Wash and Moisturizer, Microdermabrasion kit. (The two on the far left and the one cylindrical thing in the middle-ish section I don't have. BUT I WANT THEM! 

I also have the Satin Lips and Satin Hands set.  I LOVE THEM. 

Now, some of you may be wondering how I can afford this. Well, this year, I got my tax return on my birthday and so I splurged a little. I bought Mary Kay but guess what?!?! I got a discount because it was my BIRTHDAY! 30% off my total! It was heavenly. 

Anyway, I love Mary Kay and I'm just a tad obsessed with how much better my skin looks just after a few days of using it. (My skin missed it from last year, I'll tell you that!) My last set lasted about 5 months which is a long time when you consider how often you buy face wash etc. 

Guys, my skin looks like this!

Haha, JUST KIDDING! That is the magic of Photoshop courtesy of Neil's Mom. But I feel like that's what my skin looks like. It's so much softer and clearer and I like the feeling. 

So yeah, I'm a little obsessed. So sue me!

Dislike

I'll catch you up on all things "Valentinesy" later but just for now I have got to express my current hatred for Midterms. School is good but right now, I don't like it. That's okay right? I mean, I'm not going to drop out or anything. Believe you me that would be harder than staying in! I just don't like school right now. Midterms on top of regular homework assignment, essays and work. Physically it is hard to handle everything and being sick, so sick that I can't do anything but throw up and sleep, is annoying. It all comes from the stress. So maybe it's not that I dislike school, maybe it's that I dislike the stress that makes me sick which makes me miss work and then I miss class which puts me behind...that's one nasty little cycle... Oh well, onwards and upwards!

Twenty-Two

What do you do when you turn twenty-two?

Do you go to the mall and buy some new shoes?

Do you skip out on class just to go to the zoo?

Maybe I'll just go on like always cleaning and cooking. 

Who needs a party? Who's even looking?

Just do the dishes then back to the grind!

No one will notice, no one will mind!

Then wash your face and off to bed. 

It would be easy, no ache in my head.

Oh, twenty-two, oh, twenty-two

What do I do with you?

It's a mystery really, a puzzle, a bind!

If I knew what to do I could settle my mind!

So, here I stand, with a tricky old plight

willing it to turn pretty with all of my might.

A movie and dinner! My mind begins to think!

forget the stinky dishes in the sink!

Don't skip out on a birthday, no ma'am!

Be more persistent than Sam I am!

Go to the mall and buy those new shoes!

Or climb up the mountain and shake off the blues!

Go to the ice rink and skate life away.

Whatever you do don't give up this day!

Go fishing, go biking, go fly to the moon!

Go dance in the rain or learn how to use a harpoon!

Get up and go!

Life is too short, you know.

So twenty-two, oh twenty-two

I know just what to do with you!

I'll live out today and everyday here after

with happiness, joy and lots of laughter!

I'll go to a movie, I'll let down my hair!

I'll even throw my to-do list in the air!

Just know that today is a great day for me!

And to think, one year from now I'll be TWENTY-THREE!!

Oh boy. 

Confidence

A song from the sound of music goes something like this, "I have confidence in sunshine! I have confidence in rain! I have confidence that spring will come again! Besides, which you see, I have confidence in me!"

Sometimes I wish I could belt out that song perfectly and believe it.

I've been told before that I am a confident person and that so-and-so is jealous of that confidence. I attribute that to my acting skills and while I am flattered and honored that people would be jealous of me ever, I have to say that I am not always confident in my abilities to do anything. And if I do it, and I confident that I will do it right? Not always.

Sometimes, you can forget the things that you do well because the list of things that you achieve at a sub-par level seems to extend so far in front of you that you collapse under the weight of the pressure. That's how I feel right now. Sub-par. Incapable to doing anything worth merit or honor.

I'm not writing this because I want pity or even need it necessarily I just want everyone who reads this...(ha...all 7 of you...) that confidence is not and has not ever been the easiest thing for me.

I am a girl who likes Theater and Music but I also love Sports. I like hiking and biking but I also love to sit in side and play video games. I love to read but I also love to watch movies. I love to dress up and look nice but I love wearing my sweats. I love to cook and I love to have someone cook for me. I love veggies and I love potato chips. I love to love, I really do and I also am a very mean person if I don't check myself. I am mature and I am immature. I am silly and I am serious. I am patient and then I am so incredibly impatient. I don't fit into any one mold and while being unique is great and all, it is hard to be so unique at times that I don't belong anywhere.

Things can be said that hurt and that stay with a person. Kids in the sixth grade called me "cow". Though I've learned to push that away, sometimes the hurt creeps back, unwelcome as it is.

I love my family very much. And as every family does, mine has imperfections. Six girls with such stark personalities, there were words that were said at times that still are recalled, years later. I was by no means only a victim. I played my part in the "villain" role plenty of times and for some reason, that makes me feel worse. I know that dwelling on the past will change nothing and acting for a better future is the only true form of reform but sometimes I wish I could reach into the past and cover my ears, protecting my oh-so-sensitive self from hearing unkind, stupid, biting comments that were made out of spite, fear, anger or jealousy. We were all different people then but when those things come from people you love, despite everything, those words seem to come back the loudest and most painful. I know that we all regret the scars we gave each other, at least I do, but we have to move forward and heal the wounds that I think all of us are too stubborn to admit we have-for the most part.

Because of that, I wish so much that I could be the ultimate sister: the perfect babysitter, the perfect role model, the perfect person to give advice, the perfect debater, the perfect communicator. I wish so much that I could be the ultimate daughter: patient, loving, kind, better about communicating, not selfish, free of tendencies to project an attitude of acting entitled.

I love my family and I have such a wonderful life so writing all of this down and complaining makes me feel ungrateful. I am so blessed! I feel guilty that I have bad days. I shouldn't doubt that The Lord has my life in His hands. I should feel confident in sunshine, rain and myself. Always. But the truth is that I do have bad days. I do get discouraged and feel unworthy of love. I suppose that this is all part of our experience here on earth. If we never experience sorrow or grief, loneliness or unloved the beauty of feeling happiness and joy, comfort and love would be taken away and we would not appreciate or understand the extent of it all.

So, do I have confidence in sunshine? Yes. Rain? Yes. Do I have confidence in me? Eh, maybe not today but tomorrow is a new day and full or opportunities to be better at being confident.