So, I didn't realize how much harder it is to grow when you're away from everything you're familiar with. Okay, maybe not harder but just so much more painful. It happens to everyone, I'm sure, and I can't imagine how Hollywood stars do it. I'm struggling enough as it is and I'm not in any kind of spotlight! But I am so grateful for the friends that I have who help me out. You know?
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Friend
Friend: noun; a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
Or in my vocabulary someone who takes when you give and gives when it's your turn to take. I think too often we forget or just get plain lazy. We need to be more proactive about our friends. If you get a text, respond! If you have a voicemail saying, "Hey I we should go see a movie sometime! Give me a call when you get this!" For heaven's sake call them back even if you can't go! It's exhausting to always be the one to plan the party or plan anything for that matter! So my little blog today is dedicated to those of you who are real friend. Way to take charge! Way to be there, always planning, always doing and always willing to do!
Or in my vocabulary someone who takes when you give and gives when it's your turn to take. I think too often we forget or just get plain lazy. We need to be more proactive about our friends. If you get a text, respond! If you have a voicemail saying, "Hey I we should go see a movie sometime! Give me a call when you get this!" For heaven's sake call them back even if you can't go! It's exhausting to always be the one to plan the party or plan anything for that matter! So my little blog today is dedicated to those of you who are real friend. Way to take charge! Way to be there, always planning, always doing and always willing to do!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Valentine's Day. Hmm.
Well, it's that time again, time for the enormous amount of love from significant others than for some reason makes me a little nauseated. No, don't get me wrong. I love Love. Really, but it would be nice to have my own special someone that I could give that love to. Of course, someday I'll meet him and it'll be peaches and butterflies and until then I have an amazing Dad who sends me bouquets of flowers for Valentines day. I also have an amazing Mom who send me more gifts than I deserve. My roommates are blessings and I don't know that they know how much I care about them. I'm losing my point. My point in all of this is that I'm kind of angry. Why? Because all these "Single Ladies" are now exclaiming, often too emphatically, that they "don't need a man!" "I'm a strong woman and I can be happy without a boy!" Okay, PALEASE! I'm sorry, I'm all for being independent and self-motivated but for a girl (especially one at BYU) to say that she doesn't need a man is kind of kidding herself. Now, don't get me wrong, a woman doesn't NEED a man but to say it around Valentine's day in that tone, you know the one, just proves to me that there is more longing there than she wants to let on but I think the best thing for us "independent women" who "don't need a man to make her life complete" can do for ourselves is to admit that maybe, just maybe, having someone to love and to love you back wouldn't be so bad.
On the other hand, there are those who have been in long relationships and it's not gone anywhere. It makes me frustrated. It's like, "Hey, we've got something good over here but we want to wave it around in your face until you feel bad about not even having a relationship!" Yes, please take for granted how much you love each other. PLEASE! Make me feel even better about myself. Uhg.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you must look at Valentine's day with the Love tinted glasses, try to look at yourself first. Do you love yourself? God? After you've analyzed yourself and honestly answered those questions, look at your life and ask yourself if it's where you want to be at that exact moment. If it isn't, even in the slightest, fix it. Love yourself enough to truly make yourself happy. It may sound selfish but how can you make others happy if you yourself aren't happy.
On the other hand, there are those who have been in long relationships and it's not gone anywhere. It makes me frustrated. It's like, "Hey, we've got something good over here but we want to wave it around in your face until you feel bad about not even having a relationship!" Yes, please take for granted how much you love each other. PLEASE! Make me feel even better about myself. Uhg.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you must look at Valentine's day with the Love tinted glasses, try to look at yourself first. Do you love yourself? God? After you've analyzed yourself and honestly answered those questions, look at your life and ask yourself if it's where you want to be at that exact moment. If it isn't, even in the slightest, fix it. Love yourself enough to truly make yourself happy. It may sound selfish but how can you make others happy if you yourself aren't happy.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Thank You For Downloading Birthday 2.0.
The sign Bri (my roomie) made for me.
The Zebra that I drew. The tail is removable in case you want to play pin the tail on the Zebra.
Me with my beautiful bouquet of flowers from Julie.
It was a grand birthday. :) (More pics on Facebook!)
I'm Perfect This Year, No REALLY!
According to my mom 20 is the year everyone gets to be perfect. (Believe me, I was shocked when she told me!)
Why you ask? Well, this was her explanation. When you're 19 you're still a teenager and when you're 21 you're an adult. BUT when you're 20 you're a nobody and nobody is perfect! See? Anyway, my birthday has been WONDERFUL but that usually happens when your birthday spans 48 hours vs. 24. It's pretty darn great. :)
Why you ask? Well, this was her explanation. When you're 19 you're still a teenager and when you're 21 you're an adult. BUT when you're 20 you're a nobody and nobody is perfect! See? Anyway, my birthday has been WONDERFUL but that usually happens when your birthday spans 48 hours vs. 24. It's pretty darn great. :)
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Mythos, Logos, Ethos.
This is a paper I had to write for English. It is supposed to focus on Mythos, Logos and Ethos. The part I've included is supposed to appeal to Ethos or emotions, so to speak.
The lights are off but my mic is “hot.” There is no escaping what is to inevitably come next. I walk out on the stage, hit my mark and wait, for what seems like an eternity as the overture that has been playing since I stepped foot onto the stage ends and the part where I’m supposed to magically make music from my mouth begin. I’m waiting in the dark, but definitely not the silence. You can hear the audience whispering, a buzzing that never gets old. Heavenly Father, please help me to remember. Please help me to use the talents you’ve given me. My throat is tight and my saliva glands, which two seconds ago were as dry as the Atacama Desert, have turned into the Pacific Ocean, drowning me. This is my, what, twenty-sixth play in my life. Why in the world do I still feel like I don’t know what I’m supposed to do once the curtain opens? My mom’s voice rings through my head again, “You can't give up, it's a talent God has given you and it's not yours to waste." Everything is perfect, the costumes, the scenery, the make-up, the props…but there is something missing. My heart feels like it’s trying to escape out my throat and I’m shaking so badly that I think I might fall apart. And here it comes, the curtain opens and the stage lights are up. That something that was missing just a second ago is somehow there now. There is an overwhelming energy that flows through my body from the second I open my mouth, overpowering the shaky knees and sweaty hands. It’s like magic! There’s no doubt in my mind that it’s from the audience. Their energy is so addicting! The play goes on for another two hours, I know because we timed it twice during dress rehearsals, but I feel like it’s over too soon. During the curtain call, I’m handed a small but beautiful bouquet of roses. My Dad is smiling up at me. The tears come easily but not heavily to my eyes as the night ends. Closing night for another show, and to think I was afraid. I stand on the stage one last time before leaving and it’s just me. All alone on a stage where fright could’ve made me paralyzed but where God gave me strength. It’s like that every time. Because I have been given much I too must give. I have been given the talent to perform and so it’s my job to share it, despite my chronic stage fright. As the lights’ timer ends the room goes dark. The small aisle lights lead me to the open door at the back of the room. Thus shall my thanks be thanks indeed.
So what did you think?
The lights are off but my mic is “hot.” There is no escaping what is to inevitably come next. I walk out on the stage, hit my mark and wait, for what seems like an eternity as the overture that has been playing since I stepped foot onto the stage ends and the part where I’m supposed to magically make music from my mouth begin. I’m waiting in the dark, but definitely not the silence. You can hear the audience whispering, a buzzing that never gets old. Heavenly Father, please help me to remember. Please help me to use the talents you’ve given me. My throat is tight and my saliva glands, which two seconds ago were as dry as the Atacama Desert, have turned into the Pacific Ocean, drowning me. This is my, what, twenty-sixth play in my life. Why in the world do I still feel like I don’t know what I’m supposed to do once the curtain opens? My mom’s voice rings through my head again, “You can't give up, it's a talent God has given you and it's not yours to waste." Everything is perfect, the costumes, the scenery, the make-up, the props…but there is something missing. My heart feels like it’s trying to escape out my throat and I’m shaking so badly that I think I might fall apart. And here it comes, the curtain opens and the stage lights are up. That something that was missing just a second ago is somehow there now. There is an overwhelming energy that flows through my body from the second I open my mouth, overpowering the shaky knees and sweaty hands. It’s like magic! There’s no doubt in my mind that it’s from the audience. Their energy is so addicting! The play goes on for another two hours, I know because we timed it twice during dress rehearsals, but I feel like it’s over too soon. During the curtain call, I’m handed a small but beautiful bouquet of roses. My Dad is smiling up at me. The tears come easily but not heavily to my eyes as the night ends. Closing night for another show, and to think I was afraid. I stand on the stage one last time before leaving and it’s just me. All alone on a stage where fright could’ve made me paralyzed but where God gave me strength. It’s like that every time. Because I have been given much I too must give. I have been given the talent to perform and so it’s my job to share it, despite my chronic stage fright. As the lights’ timer ends the room goes dark. The small aisle lights lead me to the open door at the back of the room. Thus shall my thanks be thanks indeed.
So what did you think?
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Oh To Be A Small Child Again...
C'mon, admit it. You catch yourself at least one time a day thinking that life would be easier if you could just be a kid again. Well, I've decided that I am going to make time to be a "kid" again. In fact, my roommate and I started tonight. We ate chips and watch Barbie and the Diamond Castle. Laugh if you will but I enjoyed myself COMPLETELY! It was a fabulous get away from the pressures of real life...aka rent, homework, a job, cleaning checks...gag. And now it's off to bed where I will dream of a prince who will one day come to sweep me off my feet. He will be riding a horse and wielding a shiny sword to fight off the terrible monster who keeps him from me! Yes, yes, I'm quite happy with that.
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