The Parable of the Peppermint Oil

 Life is a roller coaster, this I know and have never forgotten. I'm okay with life having ups and downs. If there weren't any downs, how could you enjoy the ups? However, sometimes it feels as though there are too many ups and downs one right after another that instead of enjoying the ride, you just get sick and want to get off. 

Well, welcome to Fall Semester 2013. The worst roller coaster ride I've been on. Too many extreme ups followed by extreme downs one right after another that there has been little enjoyment and lots of nausea. 

This semester I've had the privileged of having two jobs and the opportunity to go to school full-time. While both Neil and I are extremely happy about the extra income and my quickly approaching graduation date, we've both been whacked by the "busy stick". Here is a quick (maybe) overview:

Me: Like I mentioned I have 2 jobs. I've worked at BYU since August 2009 in the same office and have come to love my coworkers like a second family. Seriously, they are amazing. However, this will be my last semester working there because I can't seem to fit a square peg (work schedule at BYU) into a round hole (school schedule). Or is it the other way around? Anyway... I need to finish school and soon because my enjoyment of it is decreasing quickly. I love my major and what I'm learning about, I just hate the papers and tests and scattered schedule aspect of it all. My second job is wonderful. I started on September 1st of this year. It's 20+ hours a week and I choose 95% of when I take those hours. I can do it from any place that has a computer and internet access. It pays really well and has been a huge blessing. This is one thing that will allow me to leave my BYU job without sacrificing the family financial situation. School is another ball to juggle. I'm taking 13 credits right now and I am definitely favoring some classes above others to a dangerous degree. The Reason? Something's gotta give. So, priority first goes to my husband and the financial stability of our family. Then the classes that I really hate because that way I won't fail them and have a need to repeat them, then the classes that I really love because it's easy to do those. Last are those classes that just seem to take up an exorbitant amount of time-the ones that make you constantly list off the things you could be doing instead as a better use of time. Add all of that to maintaining an orderly home (laundry, dishes, dinner) and my ever present wrestle with IBS, GERD, PCOS and insulin resistance AND trying to be a better wife, sister (in-law), daughter (in-law) and friend and you have my life. Too many things to juggle and I know that very clearly. 

Neil: Good grief does he work hard. Two scholarships to maintain, trying to get the best grades possible for his application to the Mechanical Engineering program at BYU which he applies for at the end of this semester, 14 hour credit load, a job and a calling (Elder's Quorum President)= Busy, stressed husband. But he always puts me first and I am grateful for that however we both find ourselves wishing for and struggling to find time to just be with each other. There have been very few moments where we have been able to sit and talk without anything else hanging over us. 

Then this week we dealt with car issues that really just lowered the morale. We were so extremely blessed to have this massive problem resolved by two very loving and caring individuals and we are so grateful for this. We don't know what we would have done without the hand up. 

This culmination of life events have really made Neil and I question whether the decision for me to stay at BYU and work until the end of the semester was the right thing. The idea of leaving before December makes me cringe, in fact, it makes me nervous and sad. I don't like letting the people I love down and if I left before December, I know that I would be doing just that. I know I can do hard things but is this all just too much? I've been so stressed and anxious lately that it has made me physically sick to the point where I can't go into work and barely make it through my classes before "getting sick". We haven't made a decision yet and Neil has told me time and time again that whatever is decided, he supports me fully. We both know that all of this rests on the Lord but where do we go from here?

This bring me to The Parable of the Peppermint Oil.

 

Today while sitting in Sacrament Meeting, listening to the beautiful testimonies being borne to us, I was struggling to relate. There is never an agreed upon topic of testimonies but there tends to be a trend of a topic each time we have a testimony meeting. Perhaps it is the first person who bears there testimony on something and that triggers thoughts, emotions and feelings in others about the same thing and so they want to verbally express their thanks and their faith as well about that subject. Today there seemed to be a "theme" of the Lord knowing and loving us and having a plan for each of us. 

Now, I know this. I do not doubt for one minute that my Father in Heaven literally knows who I am, what my desires are, what my hopes and fears are, what I struggle with personally and loves me still. He loves all of His children and that love will never cease. I also know that there is an eternal plan for me and Neil and that if we rely on Him completely, He will lead us down a path that will bring us home to Him safely while allowing us to have joy in the journey. 

So, what was the problem? Well, lately I've notice how I've had no trouble keeping an eternal perspective. I know that in the long run what we do with our time in service to the Lord is what is most important. However, while that is true, we are still living in the now and must live in the world but not of it. Knowing that 10 years from now these troubles we face won't exist isn't the issue. Oh, there will be struggles and trials for sure but not these specific ones. So how I do keep a "Now" perspective because my eternal perspective is doing just fine. I suppose what I'm driving at is that we none of us should live in the past or rely so much on the future "being better/different" that we ignore and wish away the now. We live now and if we wish it away or ignore it, our future will never come because we'll never recognize when we've "arrived" there. Does this make any sense? I hope so...

Anyway, here is the parable part. I was sitting there mulling over all of those afore mentioned thoughts. I had a headache, probably from a lack of sleep, and thinking about all of these things was giving me anxiety which was seriously triggering my heartburn which was making me tense up more, making my headache worse and the cycle is never ending. 

Then, out of nowhere, I started to smell peppermint. Not the sweet kind you can smell when someone eats peppermint candy or gum, but a fuller, richer, natural peppermint smell. I am no stranger to essential oils and knew instantly that someone had opened or applied peppermint oil somewhere near me. Now, essential oils are wonderful if they work for you. I've tried different brands, combos and "scents" and there are really only a few that work for me. One of which just so happens to be peppermint. 

The scent was happily overwhelming. The deeper I breathed I stronger the scent seemed to get. The combination of deep breathing and peppermint oil began to soothe my headache. Which helped me relax, and by so doing, helped ease but not completely erase the pain of heartburn.

And in that moment, I realized something. Peppermint Oil is how I keep myself balanced. Gratitude for the past, living with hope in the present and keeping the faith for the future. The peppermint oil soothed me. It eased but did not erase my pain. It helped me enough that I could make it through the next couple hours of church without feeling overwhelmingly sick to the point of just giving up and going home.

Reading the scriptures, praying, attending the temple, serving my husband. These are all peppermint oil. These things help ease stress of life. They don't make it all go away but they make it possible for me to keep going and have a balanced perspective about life. 

 I am grateful for small seemingly coincidental events that lead us to self discovery and bring us closer to the Lord. I am hopeful for my present situations and have faith that the future will be bright.I know that God the Father lives. I know that He loves me. I know that His Son, Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer and through Him we are saved.

 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

John 14:27

My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.

D&C 121:7&8